


Hollow Body Got A Hold On Me

by orphan_account



Series: Ode to Explode to [1]
Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Angst, Eric/OMC's(Rape/Non-Con), F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mysterious Serum, Nightmares, OFC/OMCs(Rape/Non-Con), Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt, This is a prequel, Violence, Why Eric Is The Way He Is In Divergent And Insurgent, eric/ofc - Freeform, self-injury, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jai Eric Courtney recieved an Erudite result for his aptitude test, and plans to Choose accordingly. One horrible night before his Choosing ceremony will change his life, and his Choice. Now a ruthless, brutal leader of Dauntless, everything he tried to forget is brought suddenly back to the forefront of his mind, when an initiate reveals a dark secret through her fear simulations. This is the story of how begins the downward spiral of Eric, and why he becomes the man he is in Divergent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! Okay, so I’m not new to writing fan fiction, but this is the first Divergent trilogy fan fiction that I have ever written. I haven’t written anything in a while, so I’m a bit rusty, and I welcome constructive criticism. This is going to be Eric-centric. I’ve got a sequel under way and, possibly, a third installment currently in plot outline mode. This story is complete and will be updated regularly. I hope you all enjoy!

Eric's POV:

 

My name is Jai Eric Courtney. This morning I took my aptitude test.  
I got Erudite, so that is what I will choose tomorrow at the ceremony; it’s the logical thing to do.   
I sit here, alone, in my room.   
Usually, I would have my nose stuck in a book, but not tonight.  
Tonight, I want to do something different.   
After all, my nose will probably be buried in a book for the rest of my life.   
I have never done anything that I wasn't supposed to do; I’ve done nothing risky, or dangerous.   
I am well-mannered, well-groomed and well-behaved.   
I want to break that boring habit, even if only just once. 

 

I decide I want to sneak out, and go for a walk through the city, in the middle of the night.   
It might not seem like much, but I feel a tingling of excitement as I make my way through the front entrance of Erudite HQ.   
It was really too easy.   
Maybe I should do this more often.   
I walk swiftly across the lawn, not slowing down until my feet touch the pavement of the old road, settling into a comfortable stride.   
I grin to myself, thinking of how my mother would react if she saw me out here.   
She would probably pop a blood vessel in her eye, or something. 

 

I walk for a long time, and it is probably midnight, when I realize that I have no idea where I am at.   
It looks an awful lot like factionless territory.   
I debate with myself if I should try to find a phone to call my mother, when I notice something moving, just ahead of me.   
Barely concealed by the shadows, I see a girl from Erudite, walking down the cracked sidewalk.   
She moves as if she knows exactly where she is going.   
I decide that the logical thing to do at this point, would be to follow her.   
She has to go back home at some point.

 

Kaitlynn's POV:

My parents were fighting again tonight.   
Somehow, they always bring me into the middle of it, like I'm the reason they hate each other.   
They were doing great until I came along, or, so they tell me.   
They really hate when I pull the "I never asked to be born" card.   
My mom slapped me last night.   
My dad pushed me out the door tonight; he told me to cool off before I come back. 

 

That is why I end up out here on the street. I'm heading towards my hideaway; my secret “spot”.   
It's a loft in the factionless sector, in a dilapidated apartment building. I have decorated it over the last few years, with candles, curtains, blankets, different pieces of art that I have found searching through the rest of the building and many stacks of books that I have stolen, or "borrowed", from the library back in Erudite.

 

I am walking in the shadows, but there is a little light from the street lamps, highlighting my path.   
I am cold, as I didn't have time to grab a jacket tonight; I was pushed out the door, after all.   
I think I will start a fire in the hearth, when I arrive at my safe haven.   
I hear something rustling on my right.   
I stop.   
I squint my eyes to see down the dark alleyway.   
There are three figures hunched down in the shadows.   
This is unusual; I might be in the factionless part of town but, I rarely run into any of the factionless. 

 

"Hi there, Sweetheart!" one of them calls out to me, as they stand to their feet.   
I pivot around to run away, but there is a another man behind me.   
"Excuse me," I say as politely as I am able, the fear thick in my voice. "I was just going home."  
"What's the rush, Darlin'?" another one drawls. He has clearly been drinking, by the smell of alcohol emanating from his person. 

 

None of these men are old, but none of them are as young as I am, either; they’re probably in their early to mid twenties.  
And they are all big; they tower over me.   
I feel trapped.   
I am trapped. 

 

"Dustin, you going first tonight?" the man that was behind me said.   
"Damn right I am, Eddie!" Dustin sang, coming way too close for comfort.   
I try to move away, again, but I am trapped by the four men surrounding me, and one of them, Dustin, is actively advancing towards me.   
I duck down, trying to make a run for it under their legs.   
It's no use.   
The one called Eddie grabs my pony tail, and hauls me back onto my feet, spinning me around. He wraps an arm around my neck, and presses himself into my back, as I squirm. 

 

"Alright fella’s, this one ain't cooperatin'! Romy, Samson, grab a leg! I got 'er arms!"   
I feel my stomach drop, and I begin to kick out at the two factionless men reaching for my legs. My foot caught one of the men in the stomach, but my offense didn't go any further than that.   
Eddie punched me in the head, and my vision went blurry; I was disoriented.   
This was not good. 

 

I barely registered who had which leg, only that one minute I was fighting to break away from their grasp and, the next, I was completely incapable of moving.   
I blinked my eyes a few times and then Dustin was in my face.   
He was touching my hair, my face and my lips.   
He moved his hand down and, in one smooth motion, my shirt was gone. I had only a bra to cover my chest, and the factionless man pulled down one side to cup my left breast. 

 

I felt the goose bumps creep over me as the cold air hit my exposed skin. My throat felt tight and I swallowed thickly.   
I knew what was going to happen.   
These men or, at least Dustin, was going to rape me and either kill me, or kidnap me.   
I screamed at the realization, a sob following shortly after.   
Dustin just chuckled darkly, pushing up my skirt and ripping the crotch of my panties, telling the others to hold me tight. 

 

Without any more of a warning, Dustin was inside of me.   
My eyes went wide and I screamed, again.   
But these factionless men didn't care; they found humor in my pain and useless struggle.   
Dustin was squeezing my breasts painfully as he continued to thrust inside of me. I don't know if it was the shock of what was happening, or the pain from his brutal attack, but I passed out.

 

Eric's POV:

I couldn't believe what I was witnessing; four factionless men just jumped the girl that I was following.   
She was putting up a fight, but it was to no avail; she just couldn't fight off four men.   
They had stripped her, and were laughing as one of the men brutally violated her young body. Her struggle halted and, as I snuck closer, I realized that she had fainted. 

 

I jumped out at them, and punched the one they called Dustin, in his face, forcing him off the girl at the same time.   
I slammed my foot into his skull, in my rage, over and over again.   
Then I saw the blood, and the questionable, discolored liquids.   
He was dead.   
I killed him.   
I don't know what I was thinking.  
Maybe I thought I could take on three guys bigger, and older than me; possibly trained.   
I was wrong.

 

Kaitlynn's POV:

I slowly opened my eyes, and as I did so, I noticed a few things.   
First, I was no longer under attack.   
Second, Dustin was dead.   
Third, there was a boy from Erudite fighting the other three men like an animal. 

 

I thought to myself, that he must have been the one who killed Dustin.   
He was putting up a good fight, but I could tell that he was not trained to fight, and these factionless men were, at least, experienced.   
I don't want to leave the Erudite boy to get injured but, logically, if I stay here, those men will finish what they started with me.   
I take advantage of the distraction, and slip away; still mostly naked. 

 

There is blood dripping down my thighs, from between my legs, under my blue skirt. I don't want to go to my secret place tonight; I want to go home.   
Home is safer, but, I don't have a choice; I need clothes.   
I hear a scream, then another, and still yet another cry of pain.   
The heart-wrenching sounds of anguish, and agonizing pain, tear from the lips of the Erudite boy that saved my life. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

The next day.

 

Kaitlynn's POV:

I sit in the backseat of the car, in silence.   
If my parents notice the absence of my persistent babbling, they don't say anything.   
If they are aware of the fact that I'm wearing makeup, for only the third time in my 15 years of life, they don't say anything.   
I was able to cover up the bruises on my face and lips, and I'm wearing a long-sleeved, white sweater with a blue collar, and long, dark blue slacks cover my legs. 

 

We are driving to the choosing ceremony.   
Both my parents are on Jeanine's council, so we have to attend every year.   
I find myself thinking about next year; my aptitude test, and my choosing ceremony.   
I’ve made up my mind that I don't care what my test might tell me, or what my parents might think; next year, when choosing day arrives, I am going to choose Dauntless.   
I am going to choose Dauntless, because I never want to be so helpless again. I know I still might not be able to fight off four men; statistically, and logically, that would still be impossible.   
But I could do some damage.   
I could take someone down with me.

 

We arrive at the circular drive just outside the Hub; the dome-shaped building is crowded.   
My parents and I make our way down the stairs to our seats in the third section, and we sit in the first row at floor level.   
No one seems to notice him; why would they?   
But, I do.   
I notice him.   
Though he is dressed in clean, Erudite blue, I notice the way he walks with a limp.   
I notice the way he holds the ribs, under his heart. I notice the marks on his face, and the bags under his eyes; he looks as though he didn't sleep at all.   
The boy who saved my life goes to stand with the other Erudite who are choosing today. 

 

For some reason, my heart feels heavier, and I feel like crying.   
Why do I feel like this?   
It's my fault.   
It's my fault he got hurt.   
I realize I don't know what happened to him, but I know it wasn't good.   
He is about to choose.   
They are already calling names.

 

"Tobias Eaton!" Marcus calls his son’s name. The Leader of the selfless faction seems nervous, like he knows the Abnegation boy will defect.  
There is a noticeable air of hostility between the two; something isn’t right with them.   
I feel the tension in the air like electricity and, somehow, I know I'm not the only one experiencing this negative energy.   
Tobias cuts into his palm and, hesitantly, hovers his hand over the burning embers in the Dauntless bowl.   
The whole Dauntless section roars.   
They are excited, to say the least.   
I guess it's not every year that they get an Abnegation transfer. 

 

"Jai Courtney!" Marcus calls out another name, looking angry and flustered, confirming my suspicions that he does, indeed, have some dark "secret".  
I watch as the boy who saved my life limps over to the bowls, and with him there was no hesitation; he chose Dauntless.   
He's gone.   
He's gone. 

 

I don't pay attention to anybody else from there on out.   
I don't know Jai Courtney, but I feel as though his imminent absence has left me more alone than I was, before I came in here.   
Now, I am even more adamant.   
I will Choose Dauntless.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know I just posted the first chapter like an hour ago, but I can't sleep. Enjoy:)

Kaitlynn's POV:

Today is the day; choosing day. I have waited for this day for so long. I used to think that I would stay in Erudite until the day I die. Sure, I always hated my parents, but I figured once I was 16 and an adult, I didn't have to see them anymore.   
But after what happened last year, I made up my mind; I am Dauntless. Maybe not yet, but I am going to choose Dauntless. 

I find myself standing in line with the rest of the Erudite who are choosing today. I'm not thinking about what to choose, or what the consequences might be. I made my peace with my decision a long time ago, now.   
So, I'm not thinking about never seeing my parents, or friends, again.   
I'm not thinking about what I might have to go through in initiation; not at all. I'm thinking about Jai Courtney.   
Will he still be there?   
Is he factionless now?   
Somehow, I feel like he would've passed initiation. So, then, if he's Dauntless now, would he recognize me?   
Would I recognize him?

I've changed a lot in the past year; I've really grown into my body, and I don't look like a little girl anymore. I've heard about parents going to visit their children on Visiting Day, between the second and third stages of initiation, and they weren't even able to recognize their own children. I guess it's all the tattoos, and piercings.  
And the hairstyles.  
And the lack of sunlight.  
And all the black clothes. 

"Kaitlynn Benson!" I start, when I hear my name, being pulled from my thoughts quite suddenly. I hesitate a moment before I make my way over to Marcus, and accept the clean knife that he is holding out for me to take. I turn the blade over, and look at it.   
I smile.   
I want to be different.

I slice into my wrist, parallel to the blue vein running down the length of my wrist; not deep enough to do any damage.   
I hear a gasp throughout the some in crowd, but I just smile wider.   
I hold my wrist over the Dauntless coals and make my way to my faction. My new family. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

We are running; out the door, and the down the steps, of the Hub.   
I feel free.   
I giggle to myself, and run faster, and push myself harder.   
I know I made the right choice, even if I did receive an Erudite test result.   
We're climbing.   
I pull myself up onto the platform, and place my hands on my hips as I take a deep breath.   
Then we are running; again.   
Beside a train.   
Dauntless are crazy.   
I am the third initiate to jump into the train. I brush the windswept, blonde hair out of my face, and grin like an idiot.   
It's not too long before we are jumping; again.   
Did I mention that Dauntless are crazy?   
I time my jump, and fling myself off of the train, and onto the roof, with the rest of the Dauntless initiates. 

There is a man standing on the edge of the roof. He is dressed in all black, with tattoos running down both sides of his neck, and up both of his arms. He has gauges in both of his ears, and two piercings above his right eyebrow.   
He looks to be the very definition of Dauntless.   
"Initiates! Listen up!" He speaks above everyone else, with authority, his eyes scanning the new initiates, especially the transfers. His eyes linger on me a moment longer, and I can feel his stare.   
It makes me blush, but I stare right back at him, and smirk. He turns his gaze back to everyone else.

"My name's Eric. I'm one of your leaders. Today you have chosen the Warrior faction. You'll go through three stages of training. Stages one and two are physical, and emotional; you'll learn how to fight, and shoot a gun, and in the second stage you’ll be facing your worst fears; conquer them, or they will conquer you. The third stage will be mental, a combination of stages one and two. You've made it this far, so I don't have to teach you how to use our mode of transport. But now, the only way in is to jump. And somebody has to go first. So, who's it gonna be?"

That gets them quiet.   
Nobody wants to go first.   
I step forward, determined to show no fear.   
Eric looks at me again, and I feel like I know him.   
There's something about his eyes...   
I step up, onto the ledge, and I smile and wave; then I jump.   
I don't make a sound.

I land on a net at the bottom, and I grin.   
I think I could do that again, right now, but somebody is pulling me down, so, it'll have to wait. 

"What's your name?" I recognize Tobias Eaton.   
He doesn't look much different, just a bit older, a bit more muscular, and there's a tattoo peaking out of the collar of his t-shirt.   
I hesitate at his question.  
"Is that a hard one? You can pick a new one, but make it good; you don't get to choose again."

"Alright," I say, twiddling my thumbs. "Alright, I'm Stormy."  
"First jumper, Stormy!" Tobias hollers out, as the Dauntless cheer for me, and I smile.   
I like my new family. 

Once everyone was safely inside, Tobias and Eric lead us through the dark halls. Tobias introduces himself as Four, and explains that Eric will be our instructor, while Lauryn will be training the Dauntless-born initiates. 

We arrive at a dorm room with 10 beds. There are only eight transfers, so I decide I'm going to steal an extra bed.   
The bathroom makes me queasy; there are no partitions or stalls, just naked toilets, out in the open.   
The shower is the same way.   
Okay, I don't like the idea of everyone watching me shower.   
I'm just going to have to take my shower before everyone else does.   
Four and Eric have been speaking, but I didn't hear what they said, as I was too engrossed in scrutinizing the bathroom. 

I take the two beds in the corner, to give me extra space, and privacy.  
I hear some of the other transfers talking about tattoos, so, I decide I need to go shopping.   
I don't go with anybody though.   
I don't want to make friends yet.   
I make my way down to the Pit, where all the action is. 

The first shop I go in, is a salon. I decide I don't like my blonde, boring hair anymore.   
I get a jagged, shaggy cut, dyed a dark, blood red, with blonde and black chunks around the bangs.   
I eye myself in the mirror and I am definitely pleased with what I see.   
I head into the clothing shop next.   
I grab eight sets of matching bras and panties, twelve pairs of socks, two pairs of black combat boots, and eight sets of black t-shirts and leggings.   
I decide to get a tattoo before I get anything that isn't for training.  
When I head into the tattoo parlor, the Dauntless woman that administered my test is cleaning her station. 

"Hi," I say. "Tori, right?"  
"Hey, and yeah. And yes again, I can do your tattoo," Tori says, answering my yet-to-be spoken question, with a smile. "What have you got in mind?"  
I smile back at her as I tell her what I want, and I make myself comfortable in the chair.

 

******************************************************************************

 

I love tattoos.   
I think I am addicted now.   
I'm back in the clothing shop, trying to find the perfect outfit to show off my new tattoo.   
I've never been good at this sort of thing.   
I head to the counter, and the lady there has bright green hair, with white highlights. Her nametag says "Dianna".

"Let me guess," she says, leaning forward, and resting her chin on the palm of her hand. "You need help finding the perfect outfit for your first tattoo?"   
I must have some kind of look on my face, because Dianna starts laughing.   
"Don't sweat it," she says, still giggling. "You'd be surprised how often I get asked."  
I smile and relax a little bit. 

When Dianna is done with me, I really don't recognize myself. She has me spin in front of the mirrors.   
I'm wearing skin tight black pants, and a black, mesh shirt, with the back ripped in big sections, and the long sleeves reach down over my wrists.   
I stare at my new tattoo in the mirror.   
I think I just made a friend in Dianna. 

The butterfly wings on my shoulder blades are black, with red veins going through to the tips, and this outfit really does show it off.   
I smile like an idiot while I make my way back to the dorms.   
Somebody said something about dinner, but I just want to rest up for the first day of training tomorrow.

 

Eric's POV:

 

That transfer looked so familiar.   
I don't know where I've seen her before.   
I know she was Erudite, so maybe that's all it is. Maybe it's just the nostalgia of my old faction.   
I can't shake the feeling though.   
I find myself frowning, trying to think of who this girl is.   
What can I say, you can take the boy out of Erudite, but you can't take the Erudite out of the boy.   
I'm definitely not a boy, anymore; people are actually scared of me, now. They find me intimidating.   
Maybe that's why I can't stop thinking about that Stormy.   
She smirked at me, and then she waved before she jumped into Dauntless. 

I wish those factionless last year were scared of me. They still haunt my nightmares about what they did to that poor girl, and what they did to me.   
I find myself wondering if she's still at Erudite.   
Maybe she's not even old enough to choose, yet.   
I'm glad she ran; I'm grateful she didn't stick around.   
I've never told anybody what happened there.   
Not about her.   
Not about me.   
I don't ever want anybody to find out what happened to me.

I had planned on choosing Erudite, that day, but after what happened the night before, I had changed my mind.   
I was going to choose Dauntless.   
I was never again going to be so helpless; for the sake of myself, and anyone else.   
I chose Dauntless, but my heart feels like it is back in Erudite, or wherever that girl may be. 

I fall into an uneasy sleep.   
The nightmares are here, every night; they never leave me alone.   
Those horrible, factionless men...   
They never leave her alone.   
They never leave me alone...


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I have a two-year old boy. He doesn't like to sleep, and he doesn't want me too, either. So, I'm making good use of my time.

Stormy's POV:

 

I wake with a start from my nightmares. The lights are bright, and hurt my eyes. Four is yelling at us to get our asses out of bed, and to be in the pit in two minutes. I get dressed in a hurry, pulling on my boots on the way out.   
The eight of us stand in a line, side by side. Nobody looks awake yet. There are five boys, and two girls, besides me. I overheard the girls giggling and ogling over Four last night; Chaotic and Rebel. Chaotic transferred from Candor and had light brown hair before she dyed it purple, and Rebel transferred from Erudite, and had dark brown hair, and she added neon blue tips. They seemed nice enough. I think they'll make good friends. I don't know all the boys, yet.  
There's Justice, a tall, lanky boy with dimples, and black hair. He keeps tossing his head to throw his long bangs out of his eyes. Then, there's Rowan, who looks like a brute, but kind of acts like a giant teddy bear. I think he transferred from Amity.   
The other three I have yet to learn their names, but they seem nice enough. All three transferred from Candor.  
Eric is here now, and he folds his arms over his chest before speaking.  
"Today if the first day of stage one. This stage is physical. You'll learn how to attack, and how to defend yourself; how to kill. We'll start with some simple exercises and, then, you'll be fighting each other, tomorrow. You'll also be learning how to throw knives, and shoot a gun. This is the stage where the weakest of you will be going home. There are eight of you, and twelve Dauntless-born. You'll be training separately, but you'll be ranked together. Three of you will be leaving us at the end of stage one, and three more will be leaving after stage three. Good luck. Now follow me."  
I don't like my odds here. I have to make it. I can't be factionless. I can't. Those men are still out there, and more like them. I have to make it. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

I'm asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I surprised myself, today. I actually did pretty well, according to Eric. I'm small, but I'm fast, and I put a lot of power into my punch. I may be exhausted, but that doesn't stop the nightmares.

 

I barely registered who had which leg, only that one minute I was fighting to break away from their grasp and, the next, I was completely incapable of moving.   
I blinked my eyes a few times and then Dustin was in my face.   
He was touching my hair, my face and my lips.   
He moved his hand down and, in one smooth motion, my shirt was gone. I had only a bra to cover my chest, and the factionless man pulled down one side to cup my left breast.   
I felt the goose bumps creep over me as the cold air hit my exposed skin. My throat felt tight and I swallowed thickly.   
I knew what was going to happen.   
These men or, at least Dustin, was going to rape me and either kill me, or kidnap me.   
I screamed at the realization, a sob following shortly after.   
Dustin just chuckled darkly, pushing up my skirt and ripping the crotch of my panties, telling the others to hold me tight. 

Without any more of a warning, Dustin was inside of me.   
My eyes went wide and I screamed, again.   
But these factionless men didn't care; they found humor in my pain and useless struggle.   
Dustin was squeezing my breasts painfully as he continued to thrust inside of me. I don't know if it was the shock of what was happening, or the pain from his brutal attack, but I passed out.

 

When I open my eyes, Chaotic, Rebel and Rowan are sitting on my bed. I sit up quickly, my cheeks burning red.   
Chaotic grabs my hand, gently, and Rebel just gives me an apologetic smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Rowan looks at his hands, like he wants to say something, but doesn't know what to say.   
"You were talking in your sleep," Rebel says quietly. "And you screamed a couple times."   
I felt myself turning even redder. "W-what did I say?" I asked quietly, embarrassed.   
Rebel just looked down, so Chaotic took over.   
"You kept saying 'leave me alone', and 'no', and 'stop', and 'please', and you were crying," she said in her Candor, matter-of-fact, way. I reached up and touched my still-wet cheeks.   
I feel like a coward.   
I can't be in here with all these nice people feeling sorry for me. I have to get out of here.  
"I have to go," I say quickly. I don't bother turning to look at my new friends, or bother with putting on shoes. I need to get out of here, now.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Eric's POV:

I couldn't believe what I was witnessing; four factionless men just jumped the girl that I was following.   
She was putting up a fight, but it was to no avail; she just couldn't fight off four men.   
They had stripped her, and were laughing as one of the men brutally violated her young body. Her struggle halted and, as I snuck closer, I realized that she had fainted.   
I jumped out at them, and punched the one they called Dustin, in his face, forcing him off the girl at the same time.   
I slammed my foot into his skull, in my rage, over and over again.   
Then I saw the blood, and the questionable, discolored liquids.   
He was dead.   
I killed him.   
I don't know what I was thinking.  
Maybe I thought I could take on three guys bigger, and older than me; possibly trained.   
I was wrong.  
I was so wrong.   
She was gone. The girl was gone. Good.   
The one called Samson pulled a knife from his overcoat; I didn't see him do it, but I felt the sharp blade slice through the skin on my torso, and I felt the warm blood seeping through my shirt. I dropped to my knees on the cold concrete. Samson held the knife to my throat.   
"You've been a bad boy, son," he sneered. 

 

I wake up, screaming. I'm soaking wet with sweat. I really hope nobody just heard me scream. I need to go out for a walk. I need to clear my head. I don't want to think about this anymore.   
I trudge down the stairs, and when I pass the transfer dorm, I hear someone crying.   
I stop momentarily, because that sobbing sounds so familiar.   
I shake my head, and continue walking when I hear a blood-curdling scream. "No! Please!", and then more sobbing.   
I can't take this; I am hearing things now.   
I make my way to the Chasm. It's the only place where I can't hear myself think.


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been awake for, like, 41 hours 0.0

Stormy's POV:

 

I find myself in a narrow corridor. I don't like small, tight spaces, but I don’t have to worry about that long, as all of a sudden, I'm in a cavernous area. I see Eric sitting on the rail, about ten feet from me, with his feet dangling down over the Chasm, his head in his hands.   
Well, this is weird.   
I walk out onto the rail, and sit beside him. He looks up quickly, clearly startled by my presence.   
"You're not supposed to be out here," he says thickly.   
"Oh well," I say dryly, throwing my legs over the edge as well, copying him.   
He looks away from me, like he's looking anywhere but at me. "So what are you doing out here at this time of night, anyway?" he asks, shortly, but not in a rude way.   
I hesitate.   
I don't want to tell him.   
"I just needed some space," I say to him.   
He chuckles darkly. "Yeah, I guess I understand that."  
We sit in silence for a little while, just listening to the water rushing beneath us, before Eric speaks again.  
"So, first fight tomorrow, huh? You ready for it?"  
No, I don't think I am.   
"I guess I'll find out tomorrow, won't I?"  
"Yeah, I guess."   
We sit there for a while longer, each of us comfortable with the absence of words, just listening to the powerful river roaring through the Chasm.   
"You're really not supposed to be in here, though," Eric says with a slight smile. "There's a suicide almost every year, usually a transfer."  
"If I was gonna off myself, I'd have done it a long time ago," I reply icily, pulling my sleeves down to cover my healing wrist.   
"Yeah," he says, low and dark. Something about his tone suggests maybe he's considered it, himself.   
"Listen," he starts again. "If your fight doesn't go so well tomorrow, I can help you out with extra training. It'll be hard, and stressful, but the offer is there if you want it. Now, come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm. We both need to get some sleep."  
I begrudgingly agree. After he bids me good night, I enter the dorm to see that Chaotic, Rebel and Rowan are back asleep as well.   
Good; less explaining to do.   
They don't have to know anything. It was just a nightmare; they don't know it was a memory.   
I lie down, and shut my eyes. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

I sit with Chaotic and Rebel in the cafeteria the next morning; I guess breakfast is as quiet as it gets at Dauntless. Everybody here is a night owl. I pick at my eggs, and sip on my orange juice. I'm not really into breakfast. We finish up, and drop our trays off as make our way to the training room.   
Four and Eric are already waiting there, standing in front of a sheet-covered board.   
When all eight of us are there, Four steps forward.   
"Alright. This board behind me is gonna tell you who you are fighting. Every fight is scored, but you won't be ranked till your next fight. This is to see your skill levels, and who to place you with tomorrow. Remember what you learned yesterday, and put it to good use, otherwise you might leave the ring with a new face."  
Eric pulls the sheet down, and tosses it to the floor. 

Justice VS Chaotic  
Rowan VS Jax  
Daniel VS Rebel  
Stormy VS Pistol

Alright, well, at least I know who the other guys are now.   
"Justice. Chaotic. In the ring," Eric calls out. I give Chaotic an encouraging smile as she pulls her boots off, and enters the ring. Justice is much taller than she is, but he is skinny and has no muscle, whereas Chaotic looks like she's done sit-ups, every day, since she was born.   
"What are you waiting for?" Eric calls out, as Four leaves the training room, and Chaotic and Justice begin to circle each other.   
The dark-haired boy doesn't know what he's doing, and I seriously doubt he paid attention yesterday. Chaotic lunges forward, and sends an uppercut to his chin, and he falls, landing on his rear. He throws his arms up to defend himself, but Chaotic kicks him in the ribs, and grabs his hair, slamming his head into the mat.   
Once, twice, three times.   
He's out like a light.   
Eric circles Chaotic's name on the board, and call's for Rowan and Jax to fight next. I congratulate Chaotic, and we watch the rest of the fights with interest. Jax won. I was totally right; Rowan is a teddy bear. Daniel won the next fight, and then it is my turn.   
"Stormy and Pistol, in the ring," Eric calls out. He is looking at me kind of funny, this morning.   
Pistol isn't a big guy, but he's muscular, and well-grounded. He's got a powerful punch, and a mean kick, and from the looks of things yesterday in training, he may have had some previous knowledge of fighting. I glance over to Rebel, she's nursing a swollen cheek, and a cut on her lip. Pistol throws his hands up in front of his face. He's left his core wide open. I go to jab him in the ribs, but he grabs my arm, and throws me onto the mat. He goes to kick me, but I grab his leg and somersault over him. I punch him on his left ear, and I can tell he is disoriented, so I pull back to punch him in the nose. He saw it coming, and ducked out of the way, my fist slicing through air. He elbows the back of my neck, and throws a jab to my throat, stealing my breath, before I fall to the mat, and he kicks me in the ribs numerous times.   
I feel myself slipping away, and I vaguely hear Eric calling him out. I can tell Pistol is gonna be a problem.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Eric's POV:

 

"Pistol, stop! She's down! She's out!" I watch in horror, as the boy repeatedly kicks Stormy's vital organs. Daniel and Rowan go to pull him off of her, and I scoop her tiny frame into my arms to take her to the infirmary. There's always one sadistic asshole in every bunch.   
Stormy coughs, and slowly blinks her eyes open.   
"What are you doing?" she asks, slowly.  
"Taking you to the infirmary," I reply.   
"I can walk," she says, with a pout. I stop, and sit her feet on the ground. She sways a bit, and then leans over and vomits. There is clearly blood in it.   
"Okay," I say, scooping her up, again. "You can walk, later."  
She blinks a couple more times, and then she's out again. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

The doctor said she has some minor internal bleeding, but nothing too serious, and that she should be ready to fight again, tomorrow. I wait by her bed until she wakes up, and hand her a Styrofoam cup, with water in it. She takes it, sipping from it slowly.  
Why am I still in here with her? I don't do this with the other initiates. I'm confusing myself, now.   
I don't like to be confused.   
I shake my head, attempting to clear it.   
"Thanks," she says quietly. "For last night, I mean. Whether you meant to or not, you distracted me, and that's what I needed."  
"Sure," I say, not really used to gratitude.   
"And thanks for bringing me in here, too. I guess you're still here because you want me to accept your offer?" she asks.  
My offer?   
Oh, yeah.  
"Uh, y- yeah. Um, so the doctor says you'll be ready to fight tomorrow-."  
"Tonight."  
"What?" I ask, startled a bit.  
"Tonight," she says again, and shrugs her shoulders, wincing as she does so.   
"Why tonight?" I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.   
"I have to pass initiation." I see something in her eyes, so I don't question her anymore.  
"Alright," I say, standing up to leave. "Tonight. Nine o'clock. Training room."

 

******************************************************************************

 

Stormy's POV:

 

So, here I am; waiting, in the training room, and it's 9:08. I guess Eric is either late, or he's changed his mind. I'm a very punctual person, always have been. I guess, maybe Eric isn't. I look up from my spot on the floor, and I see Eric walking towards me.   
"Hey," he says, hesitantly.   
"Hey," I say, smirking.   
I like smirking.   
It's a new thing for me. I feel a bit more dangerous, and sarcastic, when I smirk.   
"Alright, boots off." I comply quickly, and he gestures to the ring. Eric gets straight into it, not wasting any more time. We work on my blocking, first, and then, my technique. That one was a little awkward, but it was totally my fault. Eric wanted me to twist my hips when I punch, so that I'm using my whole body. I wasn't doing it right, and he put both his hands on my hips, to show me what to do, when I slapped his hands away, and jumped back. His look was startled. I guess my embarrassment quelled that conversation starter. All in all, I made a lot of progress.   
I'm lacing up my boots to head to the dorms, to shower, and get to bed, and Eric is standing few feet away. He pulls his sweat-soaked shirt over his head, and I find myself staring. His body is beautiful, that much is certain, but I gasp when I see the scar running down his chest, and over his ribs where his heart is.   
He heard me.   
He looks up at me, then turns around quickly, pulling a dry shirt over his head, before rushing out of the training room. I find myself wondering where he got that scar from.   
After I've showered, and am in bed, all I see in my head is that scar. Something about it pains me. It feels personal; it feels intimate.   
Like, he's the only one who is supposed to know that it's there.   
I have nightmares again tonight, but they're not about me at all. They're about an Erudite boy who saved my life. His screaming, and anguish are all I know until morning.


	5. Chapter Four

Stormy's POV:

 

The next week passed in a blur.   
Get up.   
Pick over breakfast.  
Training, lunch, fight, dinner, training with Eric, shower, and then bed.   
Repeat.

Today, we get to see our rankings. Next week, three of us are going home. I really hope Pistol goes home; he’s creepy, but I don't want my friends to leave. I don't want to leave.   
Chaotic and Rebel have found out, that they enjoy fighting. Sometimes, we have to fight each other. We don't take anything personal; it's just part of initiation. Pistol seems to hold it personally, though. I beat him last three fights. 

"Initiates!" Four hollers, over the babbling teens. "Look up!"  
Eric flips the board, and we see our rankings. 

1\. Chaotic  
2\. Daniel  
3\. Rebel  
4\. Rowan  
5\. Stormy  
6\. Pistol  
7\. Jax  
8\. Justice

I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding.   
Even if the three initiates leaving are all from the transfers, I'm safe for now. Pistol looks pissed.   
Jax doesn't look too happy, either. Justice looks like he might tear up. There's still a week until the cuts are made, so I have to hold, or move up, my spot until then to stay safe. 

"Alright," Eric starts. "Visiting Day is today. We take faction before blood pretty seriously at Dauntless. So, even if your blood does show up, I wouldn't seem too attached. We're your family now." And with that, Eric leaves the training room.

Everyone heads down to the Pit, to see if our parents are here.   
Mine are; I see them from a distance. I really wish they hadn't come.   
"Kaitlynn!" my mother calls out to me from across the room, and her, and my father, hurry over to me.   
Like, they’ve missed me.   
They are putting on a show.   
My mother throws her arms around my neck, and I stiffen, pushing her away from me. "I'm Dauntless, now. You're nothing to me." I say darkly.  
"Nothing?!" my father yells, rage apparent in his volume, and tone.   
I know people are staring, but I really don't care. These people never loved me. They only ever blamed me for their problems and, when I needed them the most, I was invisible to them.   
"How can you say that?! We raised you for 16 years of your life!"   
"Raised me?" I snort. "You ignored me unless you needed someone to blame. I raised myself, fuck you very much, and I did a damn good job." I turn to walk away when my father slaps me to the ground.   
Well that was embarrassing.   
I stand up, and dust myself off. I hold my body up straight, and enter his personal space, rage rolling off of me. 

"Touch me again, and I will fucking kill you," fire, burning in my eyes. My parents believed my threat.   
I believed it, too.   
They hurried off, but turned just before they went out the doors. 

"You're worthless! You're nothing! We should've aborted you when we had the chance!"   
Oh really.   
Okay.  
"I never asked to be born," I say darkly, and quietly. I know everyone in the Pit heard me. I turn, and climb up the stairs, trying not to go too quickly. I don't want anyone to think I'm running away, even though, that is exactly what I’m doing.   
The dorm is empty when I get there, so I fling myself on the bed, allowing a few stray tears to hit the pillow.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Eric's POV:

 

I can't believe what I just heard; it was awful.   
Stormy's parents only came to make her feel like a piece of shit.   
It was all I could do to refrain from jumping on her father. I really hope that kind of thing wasn't a regular occurrence with them, but, from the looks of things...   
Stormy went to the dorm. She had put on an apathetic face; maybe nobody else noticed, but I did. It was just a facade. Their words hit her to the core. Her words sent a chill through my spine. I really want go talk to her, but I know she needs her space, right now. So, I decide to go catch up on some paperwork in my office. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

It must be after midnight, when I'm jolted out of bed. There's something in my mouth, and hands are all over my body.   
I try to scream, but I can't. There are three people dragging me from my bed.   
Come on, wake up.   
Wake up.   
This isn't a dream; this is real. I don't know what to do. I don't have enough training for this, yet.   
Maybe they just want to kill me; I can handle that.

I still struggle against my attackers. I feel cold air hit my exposed legs, and droplets of water hit my flesh.   
We are at the Chasm. 

"What, are we gonna kill her?" one of my attackers shouts.   
"No!" says another. "We're just gonna fuck her up and make her factionless!"

Factionless?   
No...   
I try to scream, and I'm thrashing around but, it's three against one, and they're at least as trained as I am.   
I don't stand a chance.   
I'm going to be factionless. 

"Just because you've caused me so much stress, and trouble, I'm gonna take a little recreation out on you. Who knows, you might even enjoy it," he says with a snarl, and a dark chuckle.   
I'm already half naked; I'm only wearing a t-shirt and panties, so it doesn't take long, even with my incessant struggling, to relieve me of my clothing. I watch as the articles are swept away, under the dark water of the river. I'm freezing.   
Well, this is it.   
I’m going to get raped, again.   
Pistol removes his mask, and pulls the fabric out of my mouth.   
"Surprised to see me?" he whispers, licking the side of my face, before punching me on the side of my head. I hear him fiddling with his buckle and zipper, though I can't see anything, anymore.   
I've gone blind.   
I feel myself fading, only slightly grateful that I won't have to be awake for this, when I hear screaming, and yelling. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

Eric's POV:

 

I'm asleep when I hear the banging on my door. I pull on my black pants, and boots, and grab a t-shirt, before opening it.   
"Four?" Why is Four standing outside my room. Four hates me.   
I hate Four.   
"What do you want?" It must be important.   
"Three of the transfers dragged Stormy out of bed, and they were going towards the Chasm," Four said quickly, out of breath from running over here. At least, I have eyes in the control room. 

We sprint towards the Chasm, and I hear screaming.   
Stormy.   
I feel rage take over my body at the sight before me. Stormy is unconscious; and naked. Pistol is leaning over her, clearly about to enter her.   
I pull him off of her, and throw him into the river. I punch one of the others in the face, and he's knocked out. Four's got the other one. 

I rush to Stormy, pulling my shirt over my head, as I kneel down beside her. She's so small it fits her like a dress, when I slide it over her head. Four looks at me weird; I realize, he's staring at my scar.   
Yeah, he knows I didn't get that here.   
"Go," he says. "I've got these two."   
So I go, carrying Stormy away from here. 

She's going to freak out, if I take her to the infirmary. She probably doesn't want anybody to know about what happened, tonight. I decide to take her to my apartment. 

I lay her down on my bed, and cover her up as well as I can. I take the floor beside her. Nobody's getting past me.   
I drift into an uneasy sleep, and haunting nightmares.


	6. Chapter Five

Stormy's POV:

 

I wake up in a large, comfortable bed. This is not my bed. Where am I? I sit up, quickly; too fast. My head is pounding.   
"Hey," I hear Eric's voice, thick with sleep, coming from the floor by my head. I look over the edge as he sits up, rubbing his eyes. "Did you sleep alright?"  
I just look down and nod silently. I don't know if I feel numb, or depressed, or angry.   
"So, uh, you can take a shower if you want, I had Four grab some of your things last night," he said, and there was something in his voice I couldn't place; sympathy, maybe? I nod again, and hesitantly take his hand as he helps me up out of bed.   
His bed; I realize. He points me to the bathroom, and hands me a pile of my clothes.   
I let the hot spray run over my body, thinking over what happened last night. It takes me a minute to realize that I'm crying, and I try to be quiet. Right now, it feels good to cry, with the hot water to wash away the tears.   
I dry off, and get dressed, extremely grateful to Four for grabbing my toothbrush, and head back into his living room.   
I see Eric standing in the kitchen, stirring eggs in a pan. He looks up at me, and attempts a small smile, but it looks more like a grimace. I would almost giggle.   
Almost.   
"Breakfast?" he asks, pushing a plate full of eggs, sausage and toast towards me. There is coffee, too. It smells delicious. I sit down at the counter, and begin to eat. I don't eat breakfast, but this morning feels different. I must admit, eating is making me feel better. We both eat in silence. I'm afraid that he wants to talk to me, about what happened, but he never brings it up. So, I do.   
"Listen," I begin, not wanting to look at him. "About last night-."   
Eric cuts me off quickly. "You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to," he says gently. I blink my eyes a couple times, grateful for his understanding. "Thank you," I whisper quietly.   
We sit in silence a bit longer, before I speak again. "Just one thing," I say, hesitantly. "What happened, after I blacked out? I just-, I need to know, if-."   
Eric cuts me short, again.   
"No, he didn't. Came close, but I threw him into the Chasm before he could."   
"Oh," I say quietly. "Thanks?" Eric nods his head, and grabs our empty plates, placing them in the sink.   
After he washes them, he turns to me again. "You gonna be okay for training, today?"   
"Yeah," I reply, standing up, and straightening my clothes out. "Yeah, I'm fine." I make for the door and Eric opens it for me, following behind me all the way to the training room. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

We walk into the training room, and both remove our boots at the same time. Stormy is giving me a look, silently asking why. I just shrug at her. The other initiates file in soon enough, and Four is nowhere to be seen. Okay; even better.   
"Initiates! We're doing something a little different, today," I say with a smirk When I see their confused faces, I continue. “I am randomly going to pick three of you to fight with me."   
I steal a glance towards Stormy, and she looks just as confused as everyone else.   
"Let's see," I begin, holding my chin. "Justice, Jax and Rebel. Justice, you're up first. In the ring," I say darkly. I think Stormy can see where I'm heading with this. "You are going to be ranked by this fight," I smirk at the dark-haired boy in front of me. "Come on, attack me."   
Justice lunges at me, and I step out of the way, as Justice falls to the floor. I smirk, and grab him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him to eye level. I lean down, and whisper in his ear, so that only he can hear me, "Take this as a favor, I could've killed you last night." Then, I slam my head into his, and watch his eyes roll back as he's knocked out.   
"Jax! Ring!" I yell, as the other boy steps on the platform.   
This is going to be fun.   
I don't wait for him to attack, this time; I rush at him, and kick his groin before I step on his foot. He falls to his knees, and I begin to punch his face over, and over until he falls over. "K.O. motherfucker!" I grin at the bloody mess in front of me. "Rebel! Ring!"   
I see Stormy's face, and she looks horrified.   
Oh well, she'll figure it out.   
I can't let it look like I just singled out two initiates. Rebel's my alibi. And I'm going to let her win. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

Rebel gives me a look, she's scared. I'm terrified for her. I give her a small smile as she enters the ring, and Eric turns to wink at me. I hope no one else saw that. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

He let her win; I know he did. He made it look good, nobody else could tell. The other initiates probably thought that his arrogance is what got him knocked out; that he let his guard down.   
He flashed a goofy grin at me, right before Rebel threw the punch that did it. I know he let the Erudite girl win.   
All of the other Initiates have gone to lunch, but I stayed behind. Eric was sitting on a bench, holding an ice pack to the side of his face. He looks up at me, then. "Are you angry with me?"  
I was taken aback at his question; his eyes said he genuinely thought that I might be mad at him. I sat down beside him on the bench.   
"No," I say honestly, then, in almost a whisper, "Jax and Justice. They were the ones who attacked me with Pistol, weren't they?" I look down at my hands resting on my knees. I look back up, and Eric nods in confirmation. "Thank you," I say. He gives me a small smile, and we sit in a silence for a bit.   
"I feel like I am always thanking you for something," I say with a frown, breaking the silence. Eric chuckles softly.  
"So, don't say thank you."  
"But I'm grateful to you, I kind of have too. Or else my conscience would kill me," I say honestly. Eric shrugs.   
"Let's get some lunch, huh?" He stands and I follow him to the cafeteria. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

Chaotic and Rebel are whispering about something when I make my way to their table. I barely notice Eric sit down beside me. He doesn't sit with anybody. But today he does.   
"Hey," I say. "What's going on?"  
Chaotic is the one who answers. "They pulled a body from the Chasm this morning while we were in training. It was Pistol. They said he committed suicide."  
Eric coughs then, and becomes extremely interested in his french fries.   
"Oh," is all I say in reply, before taking a bite of my hamburger.   
"Hey," Rebel asks. "So, where were you this morning? You weren't in bed when we got up." Damn her Erudite curiosity. I hesitate to answer her, I'm not a good liar.   
"She was with me," Eric says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I shoot him a deadly glare, before he continues. "She wanted to go for a run, but as you know, initiates can't leave the compound without a member. So, we went for a run."   
"Oh," Rebel says curiously. "Yeah, okay."   
The rest of lunch is uneventful, and when we are finished we dump our trays and head back to the training room. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

Eric's POV:

 

I feel protective of Stormy. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I can sort of empathize with her situation. Whatever the reason, I want to keep her safe. I offer her my bed again, but she declines. That hurt for some reason. It shouldn't; she made a good point. The other initiates might think I'm showing favoritism, or special interest, and she doesn't want them to know the real reason. So she's staying in the dorm.   
I have Four keep an extra, vigilant eye on the sleeping initiates from the control room, and demand that he notify me immediately if anything looks odd. 

The next week passes in a blur. It doesn't feel like that much time has passed. I hope Stormy's not stressing out too bad about rankings. She's the most improved initiate, but she doesn't see it.   
I wait in the training room as they file in, tension noticeable amongst the transfers. Stormy wears a poker face, but her eyes betray her concern. I send her a small smile, before turning to the board behind me.   
"Initiates, final rankings for stage one!" I say, before flipping the board.   
I hear a sigh of relief from Stormy, before a grin lights up her soft features. 

1.Chaotic  
2.Rebel  
3.Stormy  
4.Daniel  
5.Rowan  
6.Jax  
7.Justice  
8.Pistol

I clear my throat and continue, "Jax, Justice, get your shit, and get out." They hurry to meet my demands, none too happy about it. "Pistol would have been leaving with them, but, well... he's dead. Take the rest of the day to do whatever, and tomorrow we start stage two. I'm gonna warn you, now, stage two is tougher, and more stressful than stage one. Be prepared."


	7. Chapter Six - Part One

Stormy's POV:

 

The Dauntless-born and the transfers are together, now.   
We are sitting in a dark, damp hallway in silence. It is not a comfortable one.   
Four Dauntless-born initiates have gone in, passed that metal door, and have yet to come out.   
What are we going to do in there?   
The door opens, and Four calls for a girl, named Vile, to enter the room. Seven initiates later, and the Dauntless-born have completely emptied the corridor.   
Eric pokes his head out the door, and calls for Daniel.   
Then, Rebel.  
Then, Chaotic.  
Then, Rowan.   
I'm the last initiate waiting.   
I stand, and pace the small area, unable to sit still any longer. Rowan has been in there for at least half an hour. Finally, the door opens, and Eric gestures for me to come inside.   
I enter the room, and see a metal chair in the middle, with computers, and monitors, surrounding it. It looks similar to the setup used for the aptitude test.   
Eric motions for me to sit down, before attaching an electrode, first, to my temple, and then his own. The computer starts up, and Eric prepares a needle.   
"So, this," he says, waving the needle around. "Is gonna activate the part of your brain that produces fear; your worst fears, to be exact. Your deepest, and darkest fear is always last but, after today, we can single out the ones you have the most trouble with, and practice those separately. There are transmitters in the serum that will allow me to see the images in your head. You ready?"   
No.   
"Do I have a choice?" I ask with a snort.   
"No," he says, as he injects the serum into my neck. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

I open my eyes, but I'm no longer sitting in the metal chair.   
I turn around slowly, taking in my surroundings.   
I'm outside the fence.   
I hear growling all around me; growing louder, and louder.   
I can't see anything.   
I've gone blind, but I still hear the growling. I take two, deep breaths, and I'm back inside the fence.   
There is no more growling. 

I'm at Erudite.   
I'm in my room.   
My mother and father are standing just inside the doorway, arguing. 'That's it?' I think. I'm supposed to be afraid of this?   
I sit down on my bed, and examine my fingernails, intently.   
"I'm talking to you, you little bitch!" my father screams, in my face.   
I jump to stand up; I can tell Dad's been drinking, again.   
He grabs my arm pulling me back, his face inches from mine.   
"I didn't tell you t'move, did I?" he slurs out.   
I look down.   
No, he didn't tell me I could move.   
He slaps me, hard enough that my vision goes blurry; temporarily. Then, I do something I've never done before. I slap him back. 

I'm in Dauntless, now.   
I'm standing in front of the mirror, in the showers in the initiates’ dorm.   
I see my reflection, holding a knife.   
I look down at my hand, but I'm not holding a knife.   
My reflection smirks at me, and drags the blade down her left wrist; then her right wrist.   
She cuts deep.   
I look down at my arms, and see blood flowing out from my flesh; the knife is in my hand, now.   
I look back up to see my reflection flickering, as she turns around, and walks away.   
I drag the blade across my throat. 

I'm standing in a field, now.   
The sun glints off the knee-high grass, and I laugh.   
I am happy here.   
All of a sudden, the sky turns from pale blue, to a dark purple, mixed with angry red, and black.   
The wind picks up from a cool breeze, to heavy, hot gusts.   
Lightning strikes the ground about ten feet in front of me, catching my beautiful grass alight.   
The fire surrounds me, now.   
I have nowhere to go; I'm trapped by the fire.   
I feel a single tear cascade down my face as the flames engulf my body. 

There's something in my mouth, and hands are all over my body.   
I try to scream, but I can't. There are three people dragging me from my bed.   
Come on, wake up.   
Wake up.   
This isn't a dream; this is real. I don't know what to do. I don't have enough training for this, yet.   
Maybe they just want to kill me; I can handle that.  
I still struggle against my attackers. I feel cold air hit my exposed legs, and droplets of water hit my flesh.   
We are at the Chasm.   
"What, are we gonna kill her?" one of my attackers shouts.   
"No!" says another. "We're just gonna fuck her up and make her factionless!"  
Factionless?   
No...   
I try to scream, and I'm thrashing around but, it's three against one, and they're at least as trained as I am.   
I don't stand a chance.   
I'm going to be factionless.   
"Just because you've caused me so much stress, and trouble, I'm gonna take a little recreation out on you. Who knows, you might even enjoy it," he says with a snarl, and a dark chuckle.   
I'm already half naked; I'm only wearing a t-shirt and panties, so it doesn't take long, even with my incessant struggling, to relieve me of my clothing. I watch as the articles are swept away, under the dark water of the river. I'm freezing.   
Well, this is it.   
I’m going to get raped, again.   
Pistol removes his mask, and pulls the fabric out of my mouth.   
"Surprised to see me?" he whispers, licking the side of my face, before punching me on the side of my head. I hear him fiddling with his buckle and zipper, though I can't see anything, anymore.   
I've gone blind.   
I feel myself fading, only slightly grateful that I won't have to be awake for this, when I hear screaming, and yelling. 

I am walking in the shadows, but there is a little light from the street lamps, highlighting my path.   
I am cold, as I didn't have time to grab a jacket tonight; I was pushed out the door, after all.   
I think I will start a fire in the hearth, when I arrive at my safe haven.   
I hear something rustling on my right.   
I stop.   
I squint my eyes to see down the dark alleyway.   
There are three figures hunched down in the shadows.   
This is unusual; I might be in the factionless part of town but, I rarely run into any of the factionless.   
"Hi there, Sweetheart!" one of them calls out to me, as they stand to their feet.   
I pivot around to run away, but there is a another man behind me.   
"Excuse me," I say as politely as I am able, the fear thick in my voice. "I was just going home."  
"What's the rush, Darlin'?" another one drawls. He has clearly been drinking, by the smell of alcohol emanating from his person.   
None of these men are old, but none of them are as young as I am, either; they’re probably in their early to mid twenties.  
And they are all big; they tower over me.   
I feel trapped.   
I am trapped.   
"Dustin, you going first tonight?" the man that was behind me said.   
"Damn right I am, Eddie!" Dustin sang, coming way too close for comfort.   
I try to move away, again, but I am trapped by the four men surrounding me, and one of them, Dustin, is actively advancing towards me.   
I duck down, trying to make a run for it under their legs.   
It's no use.   
The one called Eddie grabs my pony tail, and hauls me back onto my feet, spinning me around. He wraps an arm around my neck, and presses himself into my back, as I squirm.   
"Alright fella’s, this one ain't cooperatin'! Romy, Samson, grab a leg! I got 'er arms!"   
I feel my stomach drop, and I begin to kick out at the two factionless men reaching for my legs. My foot caught one of the men in the stomach, but my offense didn't go any further than that.   
Eddie punched me in the head, and my vision went blurry; I was disoriented.   
This was not good.   
I barely registered who had which leg, only that one minute I was fighting to break away from their grasp and, the next, I was completely incapable of moving.   
I blinked my eyes a few times and then Dustin was in my face.   
He was touching my hair, my face and my lips.   
He moved his hand down and, in one smooth motion, my shirt was gone. I had only a bra to cover my chest, and the factionless man pulled down one side to cup my left breast.   
I felt the goose bumps creep over me as the cold air hit my exposed skin. My throat felt tight and I swallowed thickly.   
I knew what was going to happen.   
These men or, at least Dustin, was going to rape me and either kill me, or kidnap me.   
I screamed at the realization, a sob following shortly after.   
Dustin just chuckled darkly, pushing up my skirt and ripping the crotch of my panties, telling the others to hold me tight.   
Without any more of a warning, Dustin was inside of me.   
My eyes went wide and I screamed, again.   
But these factionless men didn't care; they found humor in my pain and useless struggle.   
Dustin was squeezing my breasts painfully as he continued to thrust inside of me. I don't know if it was the shock of what was happening, or the pain from his brutal attack, but I passed out.

 

I slowly opened my eyes, and as I did so, I noticed a few things.   
First, I was no longer under attack.   
Second, Dustin was dead.   
Third, there was a boy from Erudite fighting the other three men like an animal.   
I thought to myself, that he must have been the one who killed Dustin.   
He was putting up a good fight, but I could tell that he was not trained to fight, and these factionless men were, at least, experienced.   
I don't want to leave the Erudite boy to get injured but, logically, if I stay here, those men will finish what they started with me.   
I take advantage of the distraction, and slip away; still mostly naked.   
There is blood dripping down my thighs, from between my legs, under my blue skirt. I don't want to go to my secret place tonight; I want to go home.   
Home is safer, but, I don't have a choice; I need clothes.   
I hear a scream, then another, and still yet another cry of pain.   
The heart-wrenching sounds of anguish, and agonizing pain, tear from the lips of the Erudite boy that saved my life. 

 

I sit up quickly, panting for breath.   
I'm hyperventilating, now.   
That wasn't a nightmare; it was much worse. I had to relive my darkest memory; my deepest secret.   
I calm my breathing down, and notice the tears on my face. Then, I notice something else.   
Eric is staring at me, with what could only be shock, and disbelief.   
He's disgusted with me.   
I'm weak.   
I'm ugly.   
I'm worthless.


	8. Chapter Six - Part Two

Eric's POV:

 

It was her.   
Stormy was the girl from that night.   
Stormy is the one in my nightmares.   
She looks so different, now; but, it was her.   
She's crying, silently. She looks so hurt. What do I do? I need to say something. What do I say? What can I say?   
"I have to do something. Wait here," I tell her, my voice quivering, as I whisper.   
I leave her alone in the room, and come back with two needles, and two doses of the fear simulation serum. 

"What I'm about to show you doesn't leave this room, understand?" I say, quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat.   
I can't believe I'm about to do this.   
I've never done this, before.   
I need her to know it was me, though.   
I don't know why, but I need her to.   
She nods her head in silence, not making eye contact; embarrassed. She's embarrassed that I saw that on the monitor.   
My heart hurts. 

I punch the necessary command into the computer, before I squeeze myself onto the metal chair, by her smaller frame. Then, I reattach the electrodes, and inject myself first, and then Stormy.   
"Trust me," I say quietly, as I feel my eyelids drift closed.

 

****************************************************************************

We exit the front doors of Erudite headquarters, together; walking the same path I took that night, into Factionless territory.   
Stormy is silent, but she looks confused.   
I am afraid.   
I am afraid to let her see this.   
But, she deserves to know.   
I need her to know it was me. 

'We're getting closer,' I think as I see my younger, Erudite, version of myself just up ahead, and I point to draw her attention.   
She looks even more confused.   
I know the feeling.   
As we approach, I feel myself flickering. My vision is becoming that of my younger self. 

No longer is Stormy walking by my side.   
This is real now.   
I don't know Stormy. 

Four factionless men just jumped the girl that I was following.   
She was putting up a fight, but it was to no avail; she just couldn't fight off four men.   
They had stripped her, and were laughing as one of the men brutally violated her young body. Her struggle halted and, as I snuck closer, I realized that she had fainted. 

I jumped out at them, and punched the one they called Dustin, in his face, forcing him off the girl at the same time.   
I slammed my foot into his skull, in my rage, over and over again.   
Then I saw the blood, and the questionable, discolored liquids.   
He was dead.   
I killed him.   
I don't know what I was thinking.  
Maybe I thought I could take on three guys bigger, and older than me; possibly trained.   
I was wrong.  
I was so wrong. 

She was gone. The girl was gone. Good.   
The one called Samson pulled a knife from his overcoat; I didn't see him do it, but I felt the sharp blade slice through the skin on my torso, and I felt the warm blood seeping through my shirt. I dropped to my knees on the cold concrete. Samson held the knife to my throat.   
"You've been a bad boy, son," he sneered.

 

Stormy's POV:

 

Eric is no longer beside me. He's dressed in Erudite blue, and he's fighting like an animal.   
Eric is Jai Courtney.   
Eric is the one who saved my life.  
Eric is the one whose screams haunt my dreams.  
He doesn't know how to fight here. 

I see my younger self disappear, into the shadows, and I stand close by to Eric, as he struggles to prevail against the other three men; close enough to feel his breath brush against my face.   
The rage in his eyes is like fire, but it is quickly replaced by fear.   
My breath hitches in my throat when Samson pulls the knife out.   
A pained scream escapes Eric's lips, right by my ear, and I see the blood streaming down his torso as he falls to his knees.   
Eddie kicks him in the face, and he falls to the ground, on his back, looking confused. 

"Eric!" I scream, dropping to my knees beside him.  
He doesn't hear me.   
He doesn't know I'm here.   
This is real for him. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

Samson held the knife to my throat.   
"You've been a bad boy, son," he sneered. "Stealing our fun. She was ours."  
I started to feel woozy; I couldn't let myself pass out.   
Then, I wouldn't stand a chance.   
"What do you say, boys? I think he just volunteered to take her place!"   
What were they talking about?   
I must be hearing things, from the blood loss. 

I couldn’t respond to what was happening; my mind wasn’t even working the way it should be. My blood-soaked shirt was torn from my body, in an instant. I vaguely felt my pants being pulled off my legs, and my boxers followed.   
What is going on?

Romy whistled. "Woo-hoo, would you look at that? And he's just a boy! I'm envious!"   
He knelt down by my head, and whispered in my ear, "Just be glad Samson ain't that big."   
"What-?" I begin to ask; I am so confused.   
And then, Eddie is sitting by my head, holding Samson's knife to my throat.   
"Be brave," he sneers. 

I scream as Samson forces himself inside my body, horrified at the unwanted, and unexpected, intrusion. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

"Eric! No! Leave him alone! Please!" I beg the factionless men who first raped me, and are now sodomizing my savior. His screams cut into my heart, like a knife.   
"Get off of him!" They don't hear me. I lay beside Eric, on the ground, staring into his panicked, green eyes, as tears roll down his cheeks, his body seizing with every forceful thrust from the man on top of him.  
"I'm here with you, Eric."

 

Eric's POV:

 

I thrash around, trying in vain to get this disgusting man off of me, and out of me.   
Eddie increases the pressure of the knife against my throat; a silent warning to give up my useless attempts to fight them.   
In, and out.  
A scream.  
In, and out.  
Another scream.   
In, and out.   
In, and out.  
In, and out.  
Samson quickens his pace, his legs quivering, and groans with pleasure as I feel his disgusting fluid spill into my body. 

I am crying; hot, silent tears flow out of my eyes, and onto the dirty ground.   
I think it's over.  
I think they will kill me, now.  
I'm incorrect, yet again.  
It's Eddie's turn.  
It's Romy's turn, too.  
I'm flipped over so that I'm now on my hands and knees.  
Romy is bigger than Samson.  
Eddie is bigger than Samson, too.

Eddie grabs a fistful of my hair, yanking my head back, so that I'm looking up at him. He smiles at me, and strokes my face. I try to turn away from the touch, but he claps my ear with his fist.   
I'm dazed for a moment.  
And then, I feel his dry lips on mine.  
I try to pull away, but Eddie is not having any of that.

 

Stormy's POV:

 

This is so much worse than I thought it would be.  
They are doing this to humiliate him, and they are gaining some sick pleasure from it.   
I'm even more disgusted, when Eddie forces Eric to kiss him, inches from my face.   
I feel like crying, but I am currently in shock. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

Eddie slaps me, and his lips are on mine again, forcing me to kiss him.  
Needless to say, I'm not reciprocating.  
He shoves his disgusting tongue in my mouth.  
When he pulls away, I feel like my lips have been bruised.  
Before I even have a chance to catch my breath, he shoves his manhood into my mouth, still clutching my hair.   
He is using my hair as leverage.  
If I live through this, I’m cutting my hair.  
Romy enters me from behind, at the same time.  
My entire body hurts.  
I can't believe this is happening. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

I am crying, now. My fingers brush over his shoulder, his body heaving from the movements of the other two men.  
"I am right here, with you."

 

Eric's POV:

 

Romy finishes, first.  
Eddie follows soon after, moaning.  
I attempt to spit his filthy seed out of my mouth, but Romy holds my jaw shut, ordering me to swallow it down.  
The bitter liquid burns as it travels down my throat, and the taste is slightly metallic.

They proceed to laugh at me, as I fall to the ground, flat on my stomach. They just walk away, laughing.   
"Eric."  
My vision starts to flicker and, then, everything is darkness.   
"Eric."  
Maybe, I'm dying.   
"Eric?"  
I hope I'm dying...  
"Eric!"

****************************************************************************

Stormy's POV:

 

Those sick bastards. They just... God, it was my fault! He got hurt, and humiliated, because of me! And I couldn't do anything about it.   
I stayed by his side, not wanting to be so close to the other men, but not able to stay away from Eric. 

No matter how much I had screamed at them to leave him alone, they didn't.   
No matter how many times I had gotten next to Eric's pained, tear-streaked face, and told him I was there, he didn't hear me.   
I was just a spectator.  
He was all alone.  
And they left him all alone, as they walked away laughing.

I'm awake, and sitting up in the chair, now. I look beside me, and see Eric's still form, tears drying on his cheeks. Why isn't Eric waking up?   
"Eric?" I say, shaking him, gently. "Eric?"  
Why isn't he waking up? The simulation is over.  
"Eric!" I say louder, concern evident in my voice. All of a sudden, the monitor to my right starts beeping. I hear shouting, and several, black-clad people rush into the room.   
Four is one of them. 

"What is going on, Four?! What's happening?!" I am hysterical, now.   
“Can’t get a pulse!” a nurse, who is holding Eric’s wrist, shouts. “No respirations, either!”  
"We've got to get him back, now!" Four yells. "We're losing time!"  
"Oxygen on!" a male nurse calls out, placing a plastic mask over Eric’s face.  
"It's not enough!" Four shouts, moving Eric to the floor. "Defib!"

Two nurses cut Eric's shirt open, and I can see his scar, rather clearly, but only for a moment. I feel tears sliding down my face. I'm so confused about what's happening.  
"Clear!" the nurse who took Eric’s pulse shouts. Four places two, metal plates to Eric's chest, and his body arches up, before falling, limply, back to the floor.   
I see blood dripping out of his nose, and his ears.   
I'm terrified.


	9. Chapter Seven

Eric's POV:

 

Three hours later.

My head hurts. My chest hurts. What happened?   
I hear the steady rhythm of a heart monitor, and I open my eyes, slowly, the bright lights above me causing me to blink rapidly. I'm in the infirmary.  
How did I get here? I'm confused. I don't like to be confused.  
I try to sit up, but I groan when I feel a sharp pain in my chest. 

"Hi." I turn my head quickly to the right to see Stormy sitting beside the bed that I'm lying on. Oh; that's right. I remember now.   
"Hi?" I reply, but it sounds like a question. "Um," I begin, sitting up, successfully this time. "Wha- what happened? Why am I in here?"  
She offers a small smile, but I can tell she has been upset.

"After the simulation, uh, memory? I woke up, but you didn't. I tried shaking you, but you weren't breathing. And the computer starting beeping, and Four and a bunch of other people came running in, and Four said to bring you back, now. And they had oxygen attached to you, and they used these metal things on you, and I-, I was really, really scared," she said the last part quietly. "Four carried you up here when they got your heart beating again, the doctor said you went in to something called cardiac arrest? And you've been asleep ever since then; a few hours or so ago."  
"Four carried me up here?"   
The bastard.   
"Yeah, bridal style, but it was more like rag doll style. You still looked dead," she said, still speaking softly. 

"I hate Four," I say with what could only be described as a pout. I really want to bring up the revelations that came to light only a few hours ago. But I don't know how.   
I'm embarrassed. 

Stormy watched me get gang-raped.   
By guys.  
I'm scared.   
I fucking died. I was scared to fucking death.   
Oh, how Dauntless of me.

Stormy is looking down at her hands, twiddling her thumbs. She's thinking the same thing I am.   
"I want to say something, about earlier," I start nervously. "But I don't really know what to say..."   
"Me too," she says, and I can tell she's trying to hold tears back. "I just really wanted to say I'm sorry."  
"Sorry? For what?" I am so confused, again.   
Did I mention, I don't like to be confused? 

"Last year, everything that happened to you," she replies shakily. "It was my fault. Everything was my fault."   
There it goes.   
The dam is about to break.   
"Hey," I say, reaching my hand out, and placing it over both of hers. "It was not your fault, okay? You didn't ask for any of that to happen; you didn't ask me to step in, you didn't even know I was following you."   
Well, it's true, but it sounded weird. 

"Just to clear that creepy detail up, I was following you because you were Erudite and, well, I was lost. I figured you had to go back sometime," I add quickly. I can tell she's not really into refusing the blame.   
"Look," I say. She doesn't, so I reach out, and lift her chin up so she's looking in my eyes.   
"Look, I didn't have to help, but I did. I did because I wanted to; because I chose to. Because I didn't want to just stand by, and ignore the pain and suffering of another human being. And, yeah, I got some scars from that night. And yeah, I just literally got scared to fucking death, alright? But, do you want to know why I'm the one who has a right to be sorry?" She swallows loudly, and so do I.

"I'm sorry, because I was too late to save you," I can hear my own voice breaking. "I was too fucking late. A real Dauntless would've got in there, and stopped it, before it started. Even if I was just a distraction, I should've got involved, sooner. I second guess everything I do. Every fucking thing I do," I'm gritting my teeth, now, and I feel a few hot tears roll down my face.   
Great.   
"I'm not Dauntless. I'm Erudite in Dauntless clothing. A coward. A fake. I weigh the logic of everything, and if it's not in my best interest, I don't get involved." I let go of her hand, and turn my face away from her. I don't want her to see me like this.   
My tough-guy facade is ruined. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

This man is breaking my heart.   
I know he's right, about it not being my fault, but it's not his either. Even if he did take hesitate to contemplate helping me, or not, he did. If he hadn't, things would've gotten much worse for me.   
They wouldn't have let me go.   
I would've been nothing more than a piece of cattle to them; a product, for a profit. 

"I'm not Dauntless," says Eric, and I see a few tears fall down his face. "I'm Erudite in Dauntless clothing. A coward. A fake. I weigh the logic of everything and, if it's not in my best interest, I don't get involved."   
Eric let go of my hand then, and turned away. I know he’s hiding from me; he can't stop the tears. He sees himself as weak, when he is far from it. 

"Eric," I say softly, my voice breaking as well. "Eric, listen, it wasn't in your best interest to get involved, that night, but you did. Not knowing what to do, or what could happen, you got involved. You showed true courage, okay? What's that Max says? "The courage that drives one person, to stand up for another". Please, look at me? Are you even listening?" I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.  
Well, I kind of am. 

I notice his shoulders shaking, up and down, and I briefly wonder if he's laughing. He's shaking his head, and has placed his hand over his mouth. A short, single sob escapes from the broken man in front of me.   
He's not laughing; he's sobbing.   
Hysterically, and he can't seem to control it, but he won't turn towards me. 

A nurse comes running in, and I shoot her a death glare. "Get out," I say, darkly. She turns on her heel and leaves quickly, closing the door behind her.   
I don't know what to do; how to console him.   
Maybe he doesn't want me here; I don't know.   
I have to do something. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

God, I'm such a coward! I'm a mess. I- I'm... being hugged.   
Cuddled.   
Spooned.   
By Stormy.   
She snakes her arms around my middle, and she is pressed close up against me on the narrow, hospital bed.   
Well, this is rather unexpected. 

I feel something warm, and wet, on my back, and I realize that she is crying on me.   
There is a lot of crying going on today; I really hope this doesn't become a regular thing.   
But, I don't mind her crying.   
I just really, really hate for her to hurt inside. 

I calm myself down most of the way; there are still a few tears falling silently from my eyes, occasionally, though.   
I turn over, so that we are facing each other.   
Who would've thought a hug could do so much good for a person? Stormy's face is tear-stained, and splotchy red, but I imagine I look much worse. 

"Hi," I say softly. "I'm Jai."   
She smiles at me then; she knows the worst is over.   
"I know," she replies. "And hi, I'm Kaitlynn." 

"Kaitlynn, can we forget about how I just cried like a baby for, like, an hour?"   
What? I'm still me.  
She chuckles lightly. "Yeah, Jai, we can."   
"So, how do you know my name? No one else here does." I am extremely curious, I must admit.   
"My parents are on the council with Jeanine, so I had to go to the Choosing Ceremony with them, the morning after... Uh, a- and I saw you come in, limping, and holding your ribs. I kinda stalked you, with my eyes. And Marcus said your name, and everything."  
"Oh," I say simply. 

I knew I was hurting like hell, but I didn't know it was noticeable to other people.   
Shit.   
I went limping into Dauntless.

 

******************************************************************************

 

So, I'm sitting on the couch in my apartment, reading yesterday's newspaper, when I hear a soft knock on the door. I feel much better after having had a hot shower, and clean clothes. But, I must admit, I could use some alone time right now.   
This has been a very stressful day.   
"Who is it?" I call through the door.   
"It's me, open up."   
Shit.   
It's Four.   
Something's wrong with Stormy. 

I fling the door wide open, looking at him expectantly.   
"What is it? What's wrong? Is she okay?" I'm feeling flustered, and confused.   
I don't like feeling confused.   
"Who, Stormy? Yeah, I suppose she's fine," Four says, pushing past me, making himself comfortable on my couch.   
"Then what's up? Why are you in my apartment? You know I hate you," I say, crossing my arms over my chest, wincing a bit when I feel another sharp pain shoot through my heart.   
It's a mutual hate.   
We love to hate each other. 

"I need to talk to you, man," Four says, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and clasping his hands together. He gestures for me to come over, and well, shit.   
There's a lot of talking going on, today.   
"Alright, first, I just want to let you know, that I still hate you, no matter what. Second, you realize that I sit in front of security camera monitors, for a living? All. Day. Long."   
Shit, what exactly is he getting at?   
I start to feel uneasy, and rather nauseated.   
I've decided that now might be a good time to sit down. 

"I just wanted to tell you, that I get it. I know what it's like to feel helpless, and want to do something about it, when you can't. No matter how hard you try; no matter how much you want to. Eric, man, don't look at me like that, now is not the time for your bullshit."   
What?   
Am I making a face?   
Okay, so maybe I am... a little bit. 

"Look,” Four sighed. “My dad used to run around on my mom, a lot. He beat her until the day she died, when I was six. Then he beat me. I'm not going into any details; we'll just leave it at that. But, I wanted to fight back; I didn't want to just stand there, and take it. But, I didn't have a choice, not until choosing day came for me; same day as you."  
I feel my patience running thin. 

Okay, I kind of feel bad for the guy.   
That sounds a lot worse than the way I grew up, in Erudite, but I just want him to get to the point.  
"Four, man, you know I love to hate you, but, where are you going with this?"  
"I know everything."  
My heart almost stops beating again, for the second time, today.   
I swallow loudly.

"Pretty arrogant, aren't you? I mean, you're basically calling yourself a know-it-all, here-."  
"I know that you saved Stormy's life, last year. I know that you got, uh, raped, because of your involvement; I saw it on the simulation monitors. I know that's how you got that scar on your chest. I know why you chose Dauntless. And, I overheard everything you and Stormy said in the infirmary. And, by the way, yeah you were limping. Nobody said anything to you because we thought you looked like a serial killer; but man, people were seriously concerned about the way you showed up." 

Shit.   
Shit. Shit.   
Fuck.   
Shit.   
Why is he looking at me like that?   
Shit.   
What am I supposed to say to that?   
Fuck, I'm confused.   
I don't like to be confused.   
I suddenly feel angry; my rage overtaking my senses.   
I need to break something. 

"What the fuck?!" I scream in his face, pulling at my short hair, in desperation.   
"Is nothing private anymore?! Can I not keep my fucking secrets, fucking secret?!"   
I scream as I punch the wall.   
Oh.   
Well, hey, there's a hole there, now. 

"What the fuck?!" I scream.   
I lean against the wall, and cover my face with my hands, as I slide down to the floor.   
"What the fuck?" I say again, this time, more as a whimper, though. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

Four's POV:

 

I did not expect this to happen.   
Yeah, I expected Eric to get exceptionally angry, but I didn't expect for the feared, and ruthless leader to just fall apart in front of me.   
God, is he crying?   
Oh, fuck.   
Eric is crying, like, six feet away from me.   
Fuck, I'm trying so hard to keep on hating him, but, he just looks so damn... human.  
Fuck.

I walk over to him, slowly, and slide down the wall beside him.   
I don't think I've ever been this close to him before, except maybe when we fought as initiates last year.   
Our shoulders almost touch.   
I cautiously place my hand on his shoulder; he is still crying. 

Man, we're all still just kids.   
Me and Eric are 17 years old.   
We're fucking kids.   
Why does society put all this pressure to be brutally ruthless, and never weak, on a 17 year old kid?   
I'm even more surprised when he hasn't shrugged my hand away, so I throw my arm around his shoulder, the way I would if he was my best bud, and we we're just chilling out, having a deep, ecstasy-related moment. 

"Eric," I begin, slowly. "Look, I didn't want to know any of this, and I wish I could erase your secrets from my brain, but if it means anything, I wish even more that it never happened. I can empathize more than I'm willing to explain. And when I walk out of here, I'm gonna hate you so hard again, but, if you need somebody to talk to, or you want to get shit-faced drunk, or completely baked, and just forget about everything for a while, you know where to find me. And, please, dude, stop crying. It's really hard to hate you when you're crying; your human nature is showing."  
Eric shoves me then, a small laugh escaping his lips.   
"I hate you so much, Four."   
"I hate you so much, too, Eric."


	10. Chapter Eight

Stormy's POV:

 

I wake up, early the next morning, feeling numb.   
I grab my things, and head to the showers.   
Nobody else is up, yet, so I quickly undress, and step under the scalding water. I finish cleaning myself; and then, I just let the water flow over my body, my thoughts racing.  
Eric looks so different from last year, when he was still Jai.   
He's built really well, with large, toned muscles.   
The hints of left-over baby fat, that were on his face, back then are long gone, giving way to defined cheekbones, and a strong jaw.  
And he’s grown in height, as well as his shoulders broadening out.   
That, and the tattoos and piercings, made it almost impossible to recognize him, until he took me into his fear simulation with him, that is. 

God, I was so scared, yesterday.   
I mean, Eric died.   
He was dead.   
And Four brought him back. 

I saw fear, in Four's eyes; I thought he hated Eric.   
Eric hates him.   
I could almost see resemblances, in the two older men. It wouldn't be surprising to me if they turned out to be cousins, or something. 

I was so embarrassed when Eric saw my fear simulation yesterday.   
I mean, I was raped, and then, I just ran away; leaving him to his unfortunate fate.   
And, when Eric took me in with him... 

I can't get it out of my head.   
I keep replaying the horrifying scene, over, and over again.   
I cut the water off, still feeling numb.   
I hurry to get dressed and run down to the training room, for some peace and quiet, before we have to go under simulation again. 

As I walk in the door, I hear loud thuds, heavy breathing, and grunting.  
Eric is there, beating the shit out of the poor punching bag.   
This isn't exercise.   
He's angry.   
I hope he's not angry with me.   
He looks up, then, and notices me standing there; watching him. He waves slightly, and gestures for me to come over. 

"Hey," he says, still panting, sweat dripping off his forehead.   
"Hey," I reply, smirking.   
I like to smirk.   
Eric walks over and sits on the bench, across from the punching bags, placing his hands on the seat beside him, and leaning forward.   
I join him.   
"So," he begins, wiping his brow with his arm. "I've been thinking about your simulations."

He's been thinking about my simulations?   
That’s embarrassing.   
I must look nervous, and he offers an apologetic smile.   
"Yeah, I was trying to think of a way to help you overcome your fears, without everybody knowing what happened,-."  
"Everybody?" I interrupt him quickly.  
"Uh, yeah, when I transferred only the leaders saw your final test under simulation. But, now, all the initiates get to watch the simulations on a big screen."

I gulped loudly.   
I can't let anybody else see what happened there.   
"Don't worry; I'm going to figure something out. You just work on facing your other fears, the way a Dauntless would, okay? Maybe I can delete your last fear from the landscape, before the final test?"

"Impossible."  
We both look up and see Four walking towards us.   
Shit. 

"Four," Eric said, pressing his lips together, in a tight line.   
"Eric," Four replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "As I was saying, it will be absolutely impossible to just delete the fear, unless you want to shut down her brain, in the process?"

We look at each other, and then back at Four.   
"So, what do we do, then?" I ask, timidly.   
"You're gonna have to practice every waking minute, and hope you find a solution to your fear, before it starts. Otherwise, whatever it is that you don't want to be seen... all of Dauntless will see it."   
"Fuck," I curse lowly.   
Offing myself, is sounding better, and better. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

I really hate Four.   
At least he didn't tell Stormy that he saw everything.  
And, he's right, as usual. 

******************************************************************************

 

I am able to get Stormy into an older, unused room for practice. Four promised to take care of the transfers for me.   
She is in the simulation, now, and I'm watching on the monitor by her head, as she tries to figure out how to escape, or face, her fears.   
She's been practicing, on and off, for hours, now, and she's made a lot of progress with all of her fears; except one. 

I can't watch her last fear, again.   
It pains me to see her go through that, over and over again.   
I watch her face instead; her eyes are closed, but her face twists in pain, and tears pour down her face.   
I reach up to brush a strand of hair out of her face, when she sits up quickly, and grabs my wrist.   
The fear in her eyes is almost superseded by hate. 

"Do. Not. Touch. Me. Right now," she says slowly, her hands starting to shake, and her lower lip beginning to quiver.   
After effects are a bitch; I know. 

"Yeah, yeah, no I'm sorry," I say quietly, as she releases her hold on my wrist.   
"Fuck, Eric, I'm sorry, it's not- I just-," she tries to explain, but I don't need her to.   
I completely get it; it wears off pretty quickly, though.   
That's why she's trying to apologize, now.   
I wave my hand through the air, as she rattles off apologies.   
"Hey, I understand, don't worry about it okay, please? I know the first few minutes after you come out are the worst."   
She nods her head, in agreement, looking into my eyes.   
I smile softly at her. 

"May I?" I ask softly, holding my hand closer to myself, than to her face.   
She nods silently, and gulps.   
With her permission, I reach my hand up, and brush that stubborn, stray piece of blood-red hair out of her face, and tuck it behind her ear, before pulling my arm back to myself, slowly.   
"Thank you," she says quietly.   
I flash Stormy a goofy grin and, then, a genuine smile, when she starts laughing. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

Stormy's POV:

One week later.

 

It has been a long week, and I still cannot overcome my final two fears.   
I don't know what to do; I fight, and I fight, but I don't make any progress.  
And, when I hear Eric scream, I still run away.   
I'm ashamed of myself.   
Eric saved me, and then over, and over, and over again, I run the other way, when I hear the screams start. 

Eric watches this on the monitor, every day; several times a day.   
Everybody is going to watch me get raped on a giant screen tomorrow, and then, they're going watch me run from my savior, when he needs my help.  
Fuck.   
That. 

All my friends are out partying; the Dauntless way of relieving stress.   
Daniel and Rebel were making out on their way out the door.   
I'm in my bed, in the dorm, alone; trying to sleep.   
I can't.  
I get up out of bed, shivering as my bare feet hit the cold floor. I make my way to the showers.   
I don't really know what I'm doing in here.   
There's a box full of razor blades by the sink, and I grab one, turning it over in the flickering light.   
I'm not going to let everybody see what happened to me. 

I hold out my arm, looking at the pale flesh of my wrist.   
I drag the blade across my skin, slowly, watching as little beads of blood follow the straight line I made.   
That's not enough.   
I need more.   
I need to go deeper.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Four's POV:

 

"Zeke! Get Eric up and down to the transfer showers, now!" I yell as I leave my station in the control room, and run down the concrete steps, two at a time.   
Eric is closer to her than I am; I hope he can get there in time.   
We've never had this kind of suicide attempt at Dauntless, to my knowledge.   
I hear a door slam open up ahead, and I know Eric knows.  
He answered the phone when Zeke called. 

"Stormy!"  
He found her.  
"Stormy?!"  
She's unconscious.   
"Help! Somebody help her!"  
She's bleeding to death.   
I reach the showers, and the scene before me now is terrifying, to say the least. 

Stormy must've turned the showers on, as steam billows to the ceiling, and, the two Dauntless, before me are soaked from the spray above them.   
Eric is kneeling by her small, still form, and has placed her head in his lap.   
Blood is flowing from several cuts marking her arms.   
Eric has removed his shirt, and is applying it to what could only be the deepest cut, as blood seeps through the shirt. 

The fear in his eyes is heart-wrenching.   
It reminds me, again, that Eric is human; not, demon-spawn.   
Eric looks up at me, with water dripping off of his face. "Help..."


	11. Chapter Nine

Stormy's POV:

 

The first thing I notice when I wake up, is that I am alive; I woke up.  
Shit.  
Then, I notice that my forearms are heavily bandaged, and I'm lying on a bed, in the infirmary.   
I hear hushed voices, just outside my door.   
One of the voices belongs to Eric.   
I groan, and pull myself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain in my arms.   
Eric must have heard me, because the next the thing I know, he is at my side, looking furious.   
"Why would you do that?! What were you thinking? Were you trying to fucking kill yourself?!" he shouts, pulling at his short hair in exasperation. 

His outburst surprised me; I don't want him to be angry at me.   
I just sit there for a minute, with my lips parted, while he looks at me expectantly.   
"Yeah, I was," I say quietly.   
It's the truth.   
"Why?" he says, his voice breaking slightly.   
I feel really bad.   
I wasn't trying to hurt anybody, least of all him.   
I really do care for him, even if I don't entirely understand what my feelings towards him, are.   
"I can't let them see," I say, honestly. "They'll think I'm weak. I can't stay here if they see... that. I may as well be factionless. I'd rather die than be factionless, or humiliated like that."  
I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I also see understanding. 

He sighs, rather loudly, and closes his eyes for a moment, sitting down on the edge of the bed.   
"Stormy," he starts, looking down, momentarily.   
"Kaitlynn." He looks me in the eyes now.   
"Look, nobody's going to think you're weak because you were raped. Nobody's going to think less of you for it. If anything, they would see how strong you are. You've been to hell, and back again, and you're still standing; still fighting." 

I look down at my arms.   
Yeah, right.   
I may have been fighting, before, but now... well, trying to kill yourself is the same as giving up.   
Calling it quits.   
The coward's way out.   
"I- I'm sorry," I say quietly. "I'm not Dauntless. I'm afraid."

"To be Dauntless, doesn't mean that you're never scared," Eric says gently, as he takes my hand in his large ones. "It just means that, in the face of fear, you keep going. To be Dauntless, means to never give up, and never give in to your fear. Sure, I mean, that's impossible, right? Everybody falls apart, occasionally; it's just human nature. But, we strive to be courageous, even if we don't always succeed."   
Okay.   
I actually feel better now.   
How does he do this to me?   
He makes everything seem so simple.   
Not necessarily easy, but simple, and I can make simple work in my favor. 

"Yeah," I say, looking in his eyes. "You're completely right. I-, I guess I just lost it, for a little bit."   
Eric smiles softly, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and it looks kind of sad.   
"Just, please, if you feel like you're gonna fall apart again, find me, okay? Don't try to kill youself, please? I can't handle it."  
My heart hurt at the honesty in his eyes, and the pain in his voice.   
I've hurt him; again.   
I make a silent promise to myself, to never be the reason for his pain again.   
I keep my promises.   
"I promise," I say softly. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

Eight hours later

Stormy's POV:

 

I've gone in last, during our officially scheduled practices, every day, since stage two began; this, is the first, and only, day of stage three. Eric tells me that I am going first.   
Shit.   
I feel my entire body shaking, and my knees are bumping together, and my teeth are chattering.   
Eric comes up behind me, and places a hand lightly on my back, and he leans in close to whisper in my ear.  
"You can do this, Stormy. I have faith in you."  
And then, he's gone.

I enter the fear landscape room, and it is entirely different from what we practiced with.   
Four is waiting for me, off to the side.   
I look up, and see the five leaders of Dauntless, Eric included, sitting at a glass table through a large window.   
The room that I am in is white, and very large.   
There is no chair.   
No computers. 

I approach Four, and he's holding a needle.   
"This is gonna be a little different from the simulations you practiced in. This serum is going to bring your fear to life, in this room, with radio transmitters. Everybody is going to see everything you do, and the people you're with, and the environment you are in, from a third person point of view, alright? You can do this, Stormy," he says the last part so quietly, I know that I'm the only one who can hear it.   
"Be brave, girl."   
And he injects my neck with the silver liquid. 

 

I open my eyes, but I'm no longer sitting in the metal chair.   
I turn around slowly, taking in my surroundings.   
I'm outside the fence.   
I hear growling all around me; growing louder, and louder.   
I can't see anything.   
I've gone blind, but I still hear the growling. I take two, deep breaths, and I'm back inside the fence.   
There is no more growling. 

I'm at Erudite.   
I'm in my room.   
My mother and father are standing just inside the doorway, arguing. 'That's it?' I think. I'm supposed to be afraid of this?   
I sit down on my bed, and examine my fingernails, intently.   
"I'm talking to you, you little bitch!" my father screams, in my face.   
I jump to stand up; I can tell Dad's been drinking, again.   
He grabs my arm pulling me back, his face inches from mine.   
"I didn't tell you t'move, did I?" he slurs out.   
He slaps me, hard enough that my vision goes blurry; temporarily.   
I bare my teeth in a wicked grin; this part is rather fun.   
I send an uppercut to his nose, hearing the bone crunch, and feeling it give way, as it pierces his brain. 

I'm in Dauntless, now.   
I'm standing in front of the mirror, in the showers in the initiates’ dorm.   
I see my reflection, holding a knife.   
I look down at my hand, but I'm not holding a knife.   
My reflection smirks at me, and drags the blade down her left wrist; then her right wrist.   
She cuts deep.   
I look down at my arms, and see blood flowing out from my flesh; the knife is in my hand, now.   
I look back up, as my reflection slowly raises the knife to my throat.  
I quickly stab my reflection in the mirror, the glass shattering, into thousands of tiny pieces. 

I'm standing in a field, now.   
The sun glints off the knee-high grass, and I laugh.   
I am happy here.   
All of a sudden, the sky turns from pale blue, to a dark purple, mixed with angry red, and black.   
The wind picks up from a cool breeze, to heavy, hot gusts.   
Lightning strikes the ground about ten feet in front of me, catching my beautiful grass alight.   
The fire surrounds me, now.   
I have nowhere to go; I'm trapped by the fire.   
I calm my breathing down, and walk determinedly, into the fire.

There's something in my mouth, and hands are all over my body.   
I try to scream, but I can't. There are three people dragging me from my bed.   
Come on, wake up.   
Wake up.   
This isn't a dream; this is real. I don't know what to do. I don't have enough training for this, yet.   
Maybe they just want to kill me; I can handle that.  
I still struggle against my attackers. I feel cold air hit my exposed legs, and droplets of water hit my flesh.   
We are at the Chasm.   
"What, are we gonna kill her?" one of my attackers shouts.   
"No!" says another. "We're just gonna fuck her up and make her factionless!"  
Factionless?   
No...   
I try to scream, and I'm thrashing around but, it's three against one, and they're at least as trained as I am.   
I don't stand a chance.   
I'm going to be factionless.   
"Just because you've caused me so much stress, and trouble, I'm gonna take a little recreation out on you. Who knows, you might even enjoy it," he says with a snarl, and a dark chuckle.   
Something inside me snaps, then, and when he goes to punch my face, I turn my head to the side, and hear his knuckles crack as his fist collides with the rail by my head.   
I take the opportunity to kick him back away from me, and I jump off into the darkness of the Chasm.

I am walking in the shadows, but there is a little light from the street lamps, highlighting my path.   
I am cold, as I didn't have time to grab a jacket tonight; I was pushed out the door, after all.   
I think I will start a fire in the hearth, when I arrive at my safe haven.   
I hear something rustling on my right.   
I stop.   
I squint my eyes to see down the dark alleyway.   
There are three figures hunched down in the shadows.   
This is unusual; I might be in the factionless part of town but, I rarely run into any of the factionless.   
"Hi there, Sweetheart!" one of them calls out to me, as they stand to their feet.   
I pivot around to run away, but there is a another man behind me.   
"Excuse me," I say as politely as I am able, the fear thick in my voice. "I was just going home."  
"What's the rush, Darlin'?" another one drawls. He has clearly been drinking, by the smell of alcohol emanating from his person.   
None of these men are old, but none of them are as young as I am, either; they’re probably in their early to mid twenties.  
And they are all big; they tower over me.   
I feel trapped.   
I am trapped.   
"Dustin, you going first tonight?" the man that was behind me said.   
"Damn right I am, Eddie!" Dustin sang, coming way too close for comfort.   
I try to move away, again, but I am trapped by the four men surrounding me, and one of them, Dustin, is actively advancing towards me.   
I duck down, trying to make a run for it under their legs.   
It's no use.   
The one called Eddie grabs my pony tail, and hauls me back onto my feet, spinning me around. He wraps an arm around my neck, and presses himself into my back, as I squirm.   
"Alright fella’s, this one ain't cooperatin'! Romy, Samson, grab a leg! I got 'er arms!"   
I feel my stomach drop, and I begin to kick out at the two factionless men reaching for my legs. My foot caught one of the men in the stomach, but my offense didn't go any further than that.   
Eddie punched me in the head, and my vision went blurry; I was disoriented.   
This was not good.   
I barely registered who had which leg, only that one minute I was fighting to break away from their grasp and, the next, I was completely incapable of moving.   
I blinked my eyes a few times and then Dustin was in my face.   
He was touching my hair, my face and my lips.  
It was then that I realized; I've been trying to fight my way out of this, but I'm not able, too.   
I close my eyes, and slow my breathing down. 

I look down at the ground, and Dustin is dead.   
There was a boy from Erudite fighting the other three men like an animal.   
I thought to myself, that he must have been the one who killed Dustin.   
He was putting up a good fight, but I could tell that he was not trained to fight, and these factionless men were, at least, experienced.   
I don't want to leave the Erudite boy to get injured but, logically, if I stay here, those men will finish what they started with me.   
I turn away, about to make a run for it, when I stop.   
I turn around, and take a deep breath.   
I run back, the way I came.  
There is the Erudite boy, in front of me, still fighting.  
He catches my eye, and is momentarily distracted.   
He turns from Jai, into Eric, in an instant, and, somehow, that is scarier.  
Samson lunges out, and drags the knife down his chest, over his ribs where his heart is, and he screams, dropping to the ground to his knees.   
The same man kicks him in the face, and Eric is on the ground, on his back.   
I don't take time to think about what I'm going to do, or how I could possibly stop three men.   
I just attack. 

 

"I did it," I whisper, to myself, as the dark alley turns into the white room, once again. 

I look up to see Eric, appearing nauseated, and gripping the arms of his chair so tightly that his knuckles have turned white.   
He looks like he might faint.   
I offer him a small smile, and wave as I turn to exit the room, the sound of applause heard loudly once I open the door. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

This is hard to watch.   
I try to make myself believe that she can do this, but I'm faltering in my belief.   
She's so far into the fear, I don't see how she can possibly stop this from happening.   
But then she does.   
And, then, I see myself; my younger self. 

I'm grateful that I'm not recognizable to anyone here; until she stops, and turns around at the sound of my screaming.   
I turn from Erudite Jai, into Dauntless Eric, in the blink of an eye. They've cut me.   
I feel a sharp pressure in my chest, from my scar; remembering the pain from that night.   
I see myself lying on the ground, and I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, that all of Dauntless is about to see my deepest, darkest secret; but, they don't.

It never happens.  
Stormy attacked them, and overcame her fears; all of them.   
I am relieved, and I can tell she is shocked that she did it.   
I really don't want to sit in here for the rest of the landscapes; I feel like I might vomit.   
I feel eyes on me, and I turn to see the other leaders staring at me. 

This isn't the first time they've all seen this; Max and Dread have seen it before, swearing secrecy.  
But, I wasn't able to overcome my last fear.   
It was why I ranked second to Four.   
They saw the whole thing last year; and they saw me fail to overcome my deepest fear.   
I am not staying in here another minute.   
I get up, and walk out quickly, their eyes following me as I leave.


	12. Chapter Ten

Stormy's POV:

 

All the initiates have finished their landscapes, now. Chaotic and Rebel have been mouthing at me to go to the dorm when we're finished.  
To get their point across, they have each grabbed a shoulder.  
Clearly, they think I'm going to try and avoid them.  
Well, I kind of have been the last couple of weeks.  
They all but drag me into the dorm room, and we all sit on my double bed.

"Spill," Chaotic says expectantly, crossing her arms.  
"Spill, what?" I ask nervously. I really like both of these girls; I don't want them to know any details of what happened to me.  
"Your last fear, and I want to know what the hell Eric was doing in your simulation."  
Chaotic's Candor is showing.   
I take a deep breath, and sigh, allowing my eyes to flit closed, briefly.  
"Okay, listen, I am not going into details; so, do not fucking ask, okay? I got raped by some factionless men, when I was 15. Eric saved me. End of story."  
Rebel gasps, but Chaotic is clearly not finished yet.  
Damn Candor.

"What about the last part? It looked like you saved Eric, as well," she said bluntly.   
"I didn't save him," I say sadly; truthfully. Chaotic knows I'm telling the truth; she's a human lie detector. "I wanted too, but, I just ran away, while he was screaming."  
I feel a few tears slide down my face.

"Oh my god, what happened to him?" Rebel asked, sympathy evident in her voice.  
"He-," I hesitate; I can't tell them that.   
I can't lie either.  
"He got hurt really bad, that's all I'm gonna say. It was three against one, you know?"   
"Did he really get sliced open?" Chaotic asked then, her eyes wide.  
I nod slowly.  
"Yeah, he did. He's got a scar to prove it."  
"Wait, you've seen Eric, shirtless?" Rebel giggles, but I'm glad for the change of topic, even if the subject is still Eric.   
I'm okay with this conversation.  
"Yeah, a couple times, actually," I admit, smiling at their reactions. "And he can really wear a pair of pants."  
"Oh, he is one fine looking man, I'd like to catch a glimpse of that," Chaotic says, dreamily.   
"Huh-hum."   
We sit bolt straight, and see Eric is standing in the doorway, with his arms crossed over his chest, smirking at the three of us girls.  
Oh, shit.

"Hey, uh, Eric? How long you been standing there?" I ask nervously, feeling slightly awkward.  
"Long enough to hear my name, and "shirtless" in the same sentence," he steps away from the door, walking over to us, his arms still crossed, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.  
"Oh," I say, feeling my cheeks burn.  
I am so embarrassed.  
He is beautiful, though.  
Anyone can see that. 

"Stormy, you're blushing up a tempest! Don't worry; all the other girls thinks he's hot too," Chaotic turns to Eric then, who is standing at the foot of my bed, while I cover my face with my hands. "Eric, you are gorgeous. We want you to take your shirt off."  
Oh.  
My.  
God.  
I'm going to kill Chaotic.

"Sorry ladies, that view is reserved for myself, and Stormy only," Eric says. God, I wish he would stop smirking. He looks even sexier when he smirks.  
Chaotic and Rebel start giggling, waving their hands around, like a couple of crazy people. I jump up off the bed.  
"Who wants to go shopping?" I offer. "There's a party tonight, and I have absolutely nothing clean, and I'm too lazy to do laundry right now."  
"Me!" Chaotic, and Rebel sing in unison.   
"See you later, Eric," I say, still blushing, furiously.   
I'm so grateful that girls never pass up a shopping trip. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

I can't believe I bought that.  
I can't wear that.  
I should strangle Chaotic for talking me into buying it.   
It was a lot of points for a little bit of fabric.   
I love my shoes, though.

 

Eric's POV:

 

Why am I doing this?  
I've tried on probably twenty-something different outfits.   
I don't know what Stormy's wearing tonight, but she's with Chaotic and Rebel.  
They like skimpy.   
Overhearing them earlier made my heart do a flip; maybe Stormy is more than attracted to me.   
Attraction is definitely a good place to start, though.

I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been in a relationship before. I've never asked a girl out. I've never danced with a girl. I've never kissed a girl.  
I find myself wanting to do all these things with Stormy. 

I sigh, as I pull on my last pair of pants; skinny jeans.  
White, skinny jeans.  
Those girls were right.  
I'm looking at myself, in the mirror, turning to see different angles.  
I can fucking wear a pair of pants. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

The Pit is a blur of lights, and bodies swaying to the blaring music. Alcohol is flowing freely, and this party is well underway. I grab a bottle of scotch from under the bar, and tip it back, taking a large gulp.  
I turn around, scanning the crowd for Stormy.  
When I see her, I feel my jaw drop, and I can't help it.   
There she is.  
She's wearing a skin-tight, strapless, backless, black mini dress, and she's got some black, stiletto booties on her small feet.   
I think this is the first time I've gotten to see her tattoo, in all it's black and red glory, as well.   
Damn.

She's sexy.  
She's beautiful.  
Her long, shapely legs...  
Her porcelain, toned thighs...  
The heart-shaped bodice of her dress, showing just a peak of cleavage...   
Her eyes find mine, and wow...   
Her eyes...  
I could get lost in them.   
She smirks at me, and that's when I notice my jaw is still hanging wide open.   
I shut my mouth quickly, and I see her cover her mouth with her hand, while she giggles.  
Well.  
At least she's knows it's her that I'm looking at like that.  
She did this to me.  
She's walking this way.

I see her eyes trail up and down my body as she walks towards me, and she blushes slightly, but she still smirks.   
"Vodka and Red Bull."  
"Huh?" I say, dumbly. I shake my head a bit to get myself grounded again. "I'm sorry, you just-, you look really beautiful." I duck my head a bit, blushing.   
"Vodka and Red Bull," she smiles, showing two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth.   
I turn to Zeke.   
"You heard her, Asswipe," I say with a grin. He always gets stuck tending the bar. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

Well, this outfit actually worked in my favor, I guess.  
I did want to get his attention.  
I was so accurate when I said he can wear a pair of pants.  
He hands me my drink, and I chug it.  
I wipe my mouth when the last drop is gone, and Eric is staring at me, quizzically.  
"I needed a drink, badly," I say, smiling awkwardly.   
Eric grabs me two more, and a shot of whiskey.   
I down them just as quickly, as he takes several large gulps of scotch straight from the bottle.   
Clearly, I'm not the only one who needed a drink.   
"Hey, uh, do you want to, maybe, dance?" Eric asks, he sounds nervous, like he's afraid I'll turn him down.  
"I was just about to ask you the same question!" I say, giggling a bit.

Eric pulls me out to the dance floor, and after the first 30 seconds, I decide that I'd like to dance with him the entire night if possible.   
This man can dance; really, really well.   
I'm just glad I can keep up with him.  
About an hour into our fun, the music slows down; a lot.   
Several people head to the bar, or off to the side, and I realize that the only people left on the dance floor, are couples. 

Eric is looking down at me expectantly, holding out his hand.  
I blush, and take the offered hand, as he pulls me close to his body.  
"There are people staring at us," Eric leans down, and whispers in my ear.   
There really are; I guess it's because Eric is a leader, and I was still an initiate this morning.  
Oh well.  
"I don't care," I whisper back.  
I love alcohol; it makes me feel so bold. 

Eric pulls me closer, wrapping his strong arms around my waist, and digging his face into the crook of my neck, as I wrap my arms around his neck.  
This is really nice.  
"I kinda want to do something," Eric whispers, hesitantly.  
Whatever it is, he can do it.  
"Then do it," I say, pulling back slightly, our bodies still flush together.  
He is looking into my eyes, and his gaze flicks down to my lips, and then back up to my eyes.   
I move my face forward a bit, and he closes the distance between our lips, stopping briefly, to hesitantly nuzzle my nose, and then his soft lips are on mine.  
It is soft; and it is my first kiss.  
I'm definitely enjoying myself.   
I can feel Eric smiling softly, through the kiss, his lips moving gently against mine, before we break apart, and stare into each other’s eyes. 

"Oh my God."  
Eric and I turn our heads at the same time, to see pretty much everyone staring at us, grinning or smirking.   
Chaotic was the one who spoke; she is wiping tears from her eyes.  
"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!"   
Candor.  
Eric looks back down at me, his eyes soft, but I can tell he feels awkward. "You want to get out of here?"  
"Yes!" Chaotic screams, lunging forward to grab the both of us. "You guys are coming with me, you can make out later! Come on!"

 

Eric's POV:

 

Wow.  
That was... amazing.   
It felt so right.  
We are being shoved up several flights of stairs, towards Uriah's Lounge; it's the little fucker’s apartment.  
Yeah, he named it.

We are all made to sit in a circle; there are seven of us, here.  
Me, and Stormy, Uriah, Chaotic, Daniel, Rebel, and Bullet.  
"Drinking Games!" Uriah cheers, as the rest of us chuckle.   
"Candor or Dauntless, first. You know the rules, you can't do Candor twice in a row, but you have to do it at least once. Our lie detector for the evening is our very own, Chaotic!"  
Chaotic stands up, and does a little dance.  
Ha, ha, ha.

Stormy is sitting next to me on the floor, listening intently.  
"How is this, a drinking game?" she asks, raising her hand.  
You can take the girl out of Erudite...  
I answer for her.  
"If you're caught in a lie, you take one shot for each lie you tell. So, for instance, say you've had three turns at Candor, and lied each time, you would've drank six shots. We’re drinking absinth, so, I wouldn’t lie. If you tell the truth, or complete your dare, everyone drinks one shot."  
"Oh," she says, looking excited.  
"Yeah, but we're changing the Dauntless punishment," Uriah cuts in. "New rules, are if you fail, or refuse to complete your dare, you remove one piece of clothing for each dare failed, or refused each time. So if you failed or refused your dare for three turns, you'd lose six pieces of clothing. Metal and shoes doesn't count."  
This is ridiculous.

"Eric, Candor or Dauntless?" Uriah asks, grinning goofily.  
"Candor."  
"What color is your underwear?"  
"What kind of question is that?" I laugh awkwardly, but all eyes are on me. It could be worse.  
"I go commando," I say, smirking. I look over to Stormy who is blushing, furiously.  
"Chaotic, is he lying?" Uriah asks.  
"He's telling the truth," she answers, grinning.   
"Alright, uh, Rebel, Candor or Dauntless?" I ask.  
"Dauntless!" she hiccups.   
"Lick Uriah's hand," I say with a mischievous smirk on my face.  
I can't believe she did that.

"Daniel, Candor or Dauntless?" Rebels turn to ask now.  
"Dauntless."  
"I dare you to make out with Bullet!" She yells, pointing her finger in Bullet's direction.  
The guy looks shocked to say the least.   
Yeah, that one was kind of funny.  
Everybody still has their clothes on.

"Uriah, Candor or Dauntless?" Daniel asks, looking really embarrassed.   
After Uriah danced around with a broom, and Bullet had to drink liquid soap, it's Stormy's turn.   
"Stormy, Candor or Dauntless?" Bullet asks, grinning.   
"Candor," she says quickly, giggles arising from the others in the room.   
"Alright, have you and Eric slept together?"   
"No," she looks down, blushing furiously.

 

Stormy's POV:

 

It's my turn to ask now.   
"Rebel, Candor or Dauntless?"  
"Dauntless."  
"Steal the liquor from Chaotic and give it to me, she's hogging it," I pout.   
Rebel chuckles, and does so.   
"Eric, Dauntless or Candor?"   
"Dauntless."  
"Sit on Daniel's lap for the rest of the game."  
He complies, scowling.  
It's pretty hilarious.

 

It's Uriah's turn again.  
"Stormy, Candor or Dauntless."  
"Candor."  
"Ha! You can't; you did Candor last time."  
"Shit, fine, you crazy person, Dauntless."  
"I dare you to make out with Chaotic."  
Really?  
Fine.  
I stand up, and walk over to Chaotic; from the looks on everyone's faces, they think I'm going to do it.

I lean down and whisper in her hear, so only she can hear me," Unzip me?"  
I turn around, and she does so.  
I let the skimpy garment fall to the floor, and I'm left standing there in my black bra and panties.   
I smirk.   
There's catcalling, and whooping, and I see Eric blushing.   
I'm drunk.  
I have an excuse. 

 

******************************************************************************

I don't know how long we stayed in there. I don't remember leaving.  
I vaguely feel like I've lost my shoes, at some point in time.  
I feel my head hit the pillow, and I'm out.  
What a day.  
Dauntless are crazy.


	13. Chapter Eleven

Stormy's POV: 

 

Oh my God.  
My head.  
Shit.  
I open my eyes slowly, immediately realizing that I have, once again, slept in Eric's bed.   
I peek over the side to find Eric, curled up on the floor with a pillow, snoring softly.   
Wow; he's so cute, when he's asleep.  
I smile, and sit up in his bed, throwing the covers off of myself.  
Shit.  
Where are my clothes?  
I quickly pull the blankets around my shoulders, covering my underwear-clad form.  
"Eric!" I whisper, attempting to wake him. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

"Eric!"  
Hmmm?  
"Eric!"  
What?  
"Eric!"  
Aw, shit; I'm fucking talking in my head.   
"Hmmm? Huh? What is it?" I ask sleepily, sitting up, and rubbing my eyes, before looking at Stormy, sitting on my bed surrounded by a mountain of blankets.   
She looks absolutely adorable.

"What happened? How did I get here?" she asks. "...And where are my clothes?" she says, almost as an afterthought.  
"Oh," I say quickly, blushing. "Yeah, you were pretty drunk last night. Uriah dared you to, uh, make out with Chaotic, and I gotta say, I thought you were gonna do it. But you took your dress off, uh, instead," I say, scratching the back of my head.   
"I tried to get you to walk to your room, but you said, 'I need a drink', and then you fell flat on your face in Uriah's room. So I wrapped you up in a blanket and carried you here, it was a lot closer, and I was pretty fucking drunk, too," I admit.  
"Oh," she says, blushing. "Yeah, sorry about all that. I'm new to drinking. I guess I don't know my limit yet."  
"That's alright; absinth will do that to ya’," I say, chuckling and standing up. "Wait right there, I'll get you something to wear.” 

I run to the closet next to my bathroom, and grab the smallest t-shirt I own. It's still going to be way too big on her.   
I hurry back with the article of clothing, and she disappears under the covers.   
I giggle, because, God, she's adorable. Even with her makeup smeared around her eyes; even with her hair a tangled mess.   
Maybe, even more so, because of those things.   
She pops out of the nest of fabric, and steps onto the floor, swaying a bit.   
I reach my arm out to steady her.

"You okay?" I ask, concerned.  
She smiles at me.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a headache."  
"Let me get you some aspirin," I say quickly, rushing into the bathroom, and searching the medicine cabinet, until I find what I'm searching for.   
"Here you go," I say, as I hand her two of the white pills.   
She pops them in her mouth, and swallows them dry.   
"So, can I get you anything?" I ask, heading to the kitchen.  
"Coffee!" she says, grinning. That girl really likes coffee. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

"No way! I was there, too!"   
"Seriously?" I say. "That's fucking awesome."  
We've been sitting on my couch for a couple of hours now, drinking coffee, and just talking.   
About anything, and everything.   
Things we did, and places we went, and people we knew.   
We had a few mutual acquaintances; we knew people, who knew people, who turned out to be friends.   
I realize I haven't looked at the clock, not even once, since I woke up.  
I'm not worried about it.  
If they need me, they'll call me, and Stormy has a few weeks of down time.   
I'm enjoying this. 

I find myself wondering if she's remembers the kiss we shared last night.  
It wasn't technically my first kiss, and that thought saddens me a bit.   
I must be frowning, or something, because Stormy is looking at me in concern. 

 

Stormy's POV:

 

We were talking a million miles a minute, and then Eric's face just fell; all of a sudden.   
"Eric?" I say, softly. I really hate to see him in pain. "What's wrong?"  
He looks up quickly, pulled from whatever deep, dark pit he had fallen into, and tries to compose his face back to what it was.  
He's failing miserably.   
"Nothing," he says, too quickly. "Just… spaced out, for a second, there."

I just stare at him, in expectance.  
He knows he's not going to lie, or excuse, his way out of this.   
He sighs, loudly, and runs his fingers through his short hair, leaving his hand on the back of his neck a moment longer.   
"Do you remember, last night, before we went to Uriah's room?" he asks, nervously, avoiding eye contact.

Oh.  
Shit.  
I remember, now.  
How could I have forgotten my first kiss?  
I swallow, loudly, before answering.  
"Yeah, um, was it bad? It was my first kiss, I probably suck at it," I pout. "But, I thoroughly enjoyed it."   
He smiled a bit, but it didn't reach his eyes.   
"It was my first kiss, too," he says, looking down. "Just not my first, first kiss."   
What's he-?  
The image of Eddie, forcing his tongue into Eric's mouth, last year, comes to mind.   
"Oh," I say, and I can tell that he knows I just had that mental image. 

He closes his eyes; the way I do when I'm stressed, and sad or angry, and am trying not to cry.   
I scoot closer to him, so our knees are touching, and I weave my fingers in his, resting on his lap.   
"Eric-," I begin, but he cuts me off.  
"Please," he says, begging. "Don't say anything, yet. Just… give me a minute, okay?"

I nod my compliance, and he lays his head back, against the couch, staring up at the ceiling, breathing through his nose.  
A few minutes pass, and he sits back upright, waiting for me to say what I wanted too.  
How sweet.  
He clearly doesn't want to hear what I have to say, because he didn't want to tell me what was wrong in the first place.  
But, he respects me enough to listen, anyway.

"Eric, I just wanted to say, that a forced kiss is not a first kiss. If you don't consent, it doesn't count. Nothing they did to you counts," I say gently, reaching for his hand.  
He pulled his hand back, quickly, looking up into my eyes.   
He looks angry.  
He looks furious.  
I'm scared. 

"It doesn’t fucking count?" he spits out, standing up. "It fucking counts, because every time I hear the phrase 'first kiss', or 'virgin', all I think about is that night. And it makes me feel weak. Every time I think about it, or I hear, or see something that reminds me in every, and any way possible of what happened there, I feel fear. Paralyzing, heart-stopping, inability to function fear."  
He's pacing back and forth in front of the couch now.   
"I was so confused, that night. So, fucking confused about what they were talking about doing, and then confused about what, and why they were doing it. I don't like to be confused!" he screams, pulling at his hair.   
I'm afraid for him.  
I'm afraid for myself.

"Three guys fucked my face, and my ass; three guys! Guys! Males! That's fucking confusing! I don't like to be confused! I don't understand, and I hate it! I hate what they did to me! Look what they fucking did to me!" he yells, pulling his shirt over his head.   
"Look!" he screams, inches from my face.   
I swallow thickly, and feel tears welling up in my eyes; he's falling apart.   
And that's when I realize, he pushed everything away until he met me. He didn't allow himself to go through the healing process, at all.   
Denial.  
Grief.   
Anger.  
Acceptance.   
He's at an odd in-between of grief, and anger. 

"Fucking, look," he whispers, his voice breaking as tears fall down his face.  
I owe him.  
So, I look.   
This is the closest I've seen the scar on his chest.   
He's giving me free range to study it, and I can't look away.   
God, it had to hurt.   
It wasn't even a clean cut; it had jagged edges, and was about half an inch, wide, and about eight inches, long.   
It was white around the edges, and the rest of it was different shades of mauve and dark pink, with blue where the serrated edges of the weapon pulled away sickening amounts of skin and flesh. 

"Oh, Eric," I breathe, tears flowing freely, from my eyes. He backs away then, dropping to his knees, and placing his head in his hands.   
"Fuck, Stormy," he says, hurt evident in his voice. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I-, I lost it. Fuck, I don't know why I said, or did, any of that," he says, looking up towards the ceiling, as he slides his hands down his face.   
"I'm really sorry," he says again, looking in my general direction, but not making eye contact. "Maybe I should go."   
I bite my lip.  
"But, it's your apartment?"  
"Maybe you should go," he says, quietly.  
Okay.  
That hurt. 

I hesitate, before standing slowly, and moving towards the door.   
I glance at him, one last time, before closing the door behind me.   
He looks so broken.   
I stand outside his door a minute, just listening.  
It's quiet, at first.  
And then there's screaming, and the sound of glass breaking.  
"You're killing me!" he screams, and I hear a loud thud, as something was thrown at the door. 

I turn to leave, tears streaming down my face.  
When I turn around, though, Four is standing there, too.   
"Get some rest," he says gently. "I'll make sure he's okay. Give him some time. He'll be okay, alright?"   
"Yeah," I reply quietly, nodding. 

I walk down the hall by myself, in a miserable state.   
I just realized that I'm wearing Eric's shirt, still.   
I stifle a sob of despair, and loneliness, as I hurry towards the dorm, Eric's screams haunting my footsteps.   
"You're killing me!"


	14. Chapter Twelve

Four's POV:

 

I banged on the door for about 10 minutes, before deciding that knocking was going to be useless. Luckily, I have a skill with picking locks.  
I shoot the lock off of Eric’s door, with my Dauntless-issued pistol, and stroll right on inside.   
I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting to find when I entered his room, but, this was definitely not it.

Eric is a tough-love instructor; he's good at breaking down individual will, to create a stronger soldier.  
But he is not destructive.   
The scene I find before me, tells a different tale.  
I step forward, cautiously.

Broken glass litters the entire floor, and many different colored liquids stain the silver colored carpet.   
Curtains have been ripped from their rods, and rest in tatters around the windows, most of which have been shattered.   
I see not even one dish in the open cabinets; three doors of which, have been completely separated, and a fourth hangs crooked, by a single hinge. The dishes make a decent pile of ceramic shards in the sink.   
All of Eric's beloved books peek out from the shelf that held them, now currently toppled over, on the floor.   
I don't notice anything else specific, material wise, because I catch sight of Eric, then. 

He's sits on the floor, leaning against the bed staring downwards. He doesn't look at me, or acknowledge my presence in any way, as I approach him. I notice his bloody, and bruising knuckles, as his hands rest on his lap limply.  
"Eric?" I ask, the concern evident in my voice.   
He exhales a shaky breath, as I sit next to him on the floor, and I notice that tears stain his face.

I fucking hate that. 

I know all too well the sort of anguish that brings them.  
I can't bring myself to even pretend to hate Eric, right now.  
This is some serious shit.  
This is some fucking, serious shit. 

The arrival of Stormy, and the revelation that she was the girl from the night that changed his life, has shocked him out of denial.   
He never grieved, properly. Now, he's in a complicated mix of grief and anger.   
You can't deny something, when the proof is in front of your face, or in your arms, or in your heart, every single day.   
He hasn't said anything, still, but he turns his head to look at me, too deep in his despair to care about his current appearance; Eric doesn't show emotion in front of people. 

"Eric, you might not believe me, but please trust me, it will be okay," I say, as though I was talking to a child whose mother had just died, the way Natalie Prior had to me, instead of to my authority.   
I watch as his eyes falls closed, his wet lashes clinging to the skin above his high cheek bones, as he takes another shaky breath. 

His voice sounds so broken, it reminds me of myself, when Marcus told me I was never going to leave Abnegation; that I was never going to escape him, and I confided in the woman, Natalie Prior, once again. 

"It's not going to be okay," he's speaking so quietly, in his brokenness, that I feel a lump form in my own throat. "I'll never escape this shit."  
"You will," I say, boldly reassuring him.   
A dark chuckle, which holds no humor, escapes his lips.   
"What did you see? In the security footage?"

I'm confused at the reason for the question, but I decide to be truthful.  
"I got the gist of what happened; once I saw what was going to happen in your landscape, I switched the monitor over a channel," I reply, softly and truthfully, thinking that maybe he's more upset, because he thinks I saw more than I did. "They had you in your boxers, and I looked away, and then you were screaming... I turned it off."  
"So," he begins again, looking me in the eyes. "You're completely aware that I was..." He coughed to clear his throat from the discomfort of the word. "I was raped. Who do you think did the deed?" 

Where is this going? I remember what the one called Eddie whispered in his ear, about Samson.  
"Samson?" I guess, feeling a chill run up my spine, at the dark chuckle he graces me with, again.   
"I get so fucking confused," he states. "I don't like to be confused."  
He slides his hands down his face, and laces his fingers together on his lap. 

"I mean, why would I want to tell you, Four, any of this shit? You're not gonna understand. You're not-..." Eric sighs, once again, a fresh few tears roll down his cheeks. "I find that I want to tell you about that night, and I don't know why. That's fucking confusing. I mean, I know your dad beat you, and shit, yeah I'm not fucking happy that happened to you, ya' know? It's just-, it's not the same. Stormy, she gets some of it, but she's... a girl. Not saying she wasn't just as affected, but... I don't think girls would understand... I mean, I'm a guy. I'm probably the only guy to get raped by other men in the entire fucking city's history. I don't know if that's a blessing, or a curse. Nobody's gonna understand this..." his voice thick, and cracking, at the end.   
Shit.   
I felt like that, once.  
Did he say, men?   
As in, plural?

Eric's POV:

 

Why am I here? Why did I choose Dauntless?   
Because I want to be something that I'm not?   
I'm nothing.   
I'm worthless.  
I'm alone.   
What did Four just... hug me for?  
Why is he fucking crying, now?

At least the little fucker isn't sobbing, like I usually do.  
He's not even really crying.  
His eyes are definitely glistening with unshed tears, though.  
I'm really confused.  
I don't like to be confused. 

It was a quick embrace, and not as awkward as I would've thought, but it was still a little awkward.   
I open my mouth to speak again, but Four beats me to it.   
"Beating me was not the only sin committed against me by Marcus," he says quietly, looking down, and suddenly finding his fingernails very interesting. 

I just stare at him, in horror of his implied meaning.   
He attempts to glance over at me, but quickly shifts his eyes back down.   
"He, uh, he told me that it was for my own good, that he was helping me let go of myself, so I would stop being so selfish, and accept my place in Abnegation. It was about a month before Choosing Day, and I had decided on Dauntless the day I watched my mother die; raped, and beaten at the hands of my 'father'," Four spit the word, like it was poisonous to him. 

"So, he came in that evening, and everything was just like usual... usual for my household, anyway. It was never good, but I never went against him before... I held my tongue like a "good little Abnegation boy"; I always, always did everything he asked of me. I was perfectly behaved, because I was scared of what would happen if I took one step, or breath, of my own accord. But, that evening, during dinner, he was complaining about everything, like usual, and I was so tired of his shit; getting so impatient for Choosing Day... I told him to shut up. But..." his eyes looked distant, now. "He shut me up, instead; locked me in the cellar, after he-... ya' know?" 

He sighed deeply, then continued, "I don't like to be confused either, Eric. I want to know what's going on, I don't have to be in control, but I have to be well-informed. It's why I took the job in the control room. And it's why, when I turned down Leadership, you took the spot. Leadership gets to know what's going on, during drills, during factionless riots... Nobody messes with a leader. I. Under. Stand. So, if you feel like you want to tell me what happened, I'll listen, and I hope you know I won't judge you, or think differently of you... Wait, that's not entirely true. I already think differently of you; I can't bring myself to hate you, anymore. Don't look at me like that; I tried really hard to hate you again, but after tonight, that's not possible. So, maybe we don't have to be rivals, anymore. I mean, we're not competing for ranks, or jobs, anymore. Maybe, we could just kinda hang out with another person, who kinda understands us. Until I knew about what happened to you, I thought I was the only one, too. So, just talk; whatever you want to say, say it."

Well, fuck.  
Fuck.  
He doesn't know.  
He didn't watch it.  
Good.

"I-, I actually think I'm good, now. I mean, just-, I think I just, maybe, needed a friend," I say, speaking partial truth.  
I'm definitely not "good".  
I could use a friend.  
And knowing that I'm not the only one, at least, in some sick way, it makes me feel less alone.   
"I just… really need to find Stormy. Apologize, or something, ya' know?" I add. 

Four smiles at me then, and I realize, that this is the first time that I have seen him smile like that; directed at me, anyway.  
It makes me smile, too.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Stormy is asleep when I find her in the dormitory, curled up in the corner of her bed, dry tear streaks on her delicate face.   
I hate that I'm the reason for this.  
I just lost it.   
I mean, shit.  
I'm an asshole.  
I lean against her bed on the floor by the wall, and fall asleep.   
**************************************************************

 

I wake up suddenly, a few hours later.  
It's still dark, and everybody is still asleep.  
"No!" Stormy sobs, from her corner.   
"No, no, no, no..."  
Shit.   
She gets those, too.  
"No, please! Stop!"   
Her voice gets louder, and hysterical in her sleep, and I turn to look at the other sleeping dorm mates.  
They are sleeping soundly; they must be used to this.  
Fuck.

She's sobbing in her sleep, now.  
I want to wake her up, but after earlier...   
I don't know how she'd respond.   
"Get off of me!" she screams. "Please, I don't want this! I don't want this!"  
She's thrashing around, fighting an invisible assailant.  
I decide to wake her up. 

"Stormy? Stormy, it's okay. It's a nightmare, you're safe," I say gently, as she halts her movements, and her eyes shoot open, her breath coming in heavy pants.   
She sits upright, and pulls her knees to her chest, and cries.   
Shit.  
I hesitantly crawl up on the bed beside her, pushing her gently down so she's curled up in a fetal position, facing away from me.   
She's still crying, and in so much pain, I allow a few tears to slide down my face as well, as I curl up behind her, the way she did for me when I was in the infirmary.  
I wrap one arm around her waist, and with my free hand, I reach up to twirl and pet her hair.   
After about five minutes, she's calmed down considerably, and turns on her other side to face me.  
She doesn't look angry. 

"I'm so sorry, for earli-," I begin, but she cuts in, then.  
"It's okay, I think maybe you needed to fall apart," she says, honesty and gentleness in her puffy eyes.   
"Maybe, but I still-," I try again.  
Stormy cuts me off by pressing her lips to mine, gently.   
It ends too soon.   
She pulls back a bit, and gazes into my eyes, my own being wide and full of longing, I'm sure. 

"You don't have to stop, if you don't want to," I say lowly, as I see her eyes travel down to my lips, and back to my eyes.  
She moves in, again, hesitating momentarily, inches from my face.  
I close the distance, pressing my lips to hers, relishing in how sweet this feels.  
It feel safe.  
It feels soft.  
It feels right.  
I move my lips against hers gently, bringing my hand up to the back of her neck to pull her in deeper.  
I crave to deepen the kiss; I crave her love.  
She allows me to do so, sliding her tongue along my bottom lip, and I open my mouth, allowing her entry as our tongues slide together.  
It ends too soon, still.  
We smile at each other, and she cuddles close to me as I wrap both my arms around her, in a protective embrace, placing a light kiss on the top of her head.

I'm in love.

The realization isn't as weird as I would've thought it to be.  
I just never saw that kind of thing happening for somebody like me.   
I feel Stormy's breath even out, rising and falling steadily, and I know she's asleep.   
I close my eyes and drift off as well, and, for the first time since that horrible night over a year ago, I sleep peacefully, with no nightmares.


	15. Chapter Thirteen

Stormy's POV:

 

"Oh my fucking gosh! I knew it!"  
I wake up to see Chaotic, Rebel, Daniel, Rowen and a dark skinned man I don't recognize, standing at the end of my bed.  
Eric stirs beside me, before pulling the covers tighter around his still sleeping form.  
I would smile at the adorableness, if it wasn't for our audience.  
Chaotic giggles, and Rebel coos, "Awe!"   
Eric jumps, almost falling off the bed, and I see a blush to match my own on his shocked face.   
"Amar," he says quickly.  
The man named Amar laughs, then, and the boys join in.   
Poor Eric.  
He looks embarrassed. 

"I went to look for you in your apartment, but you weren't there. I was worried something bad might've happened when I saw the state of your unit, so I stopped by the control room. Four said you entered the transfer dorm in the middle of the night, and he didn't see you leave," Amar says, a slight smirk on his pierced face.   
Eric swallows uncomfortably.   
"Don't worry, Eric. I just need the file that Jeanine Matthews requested; she wants me to deliver it, personally."

"Uh," Eric sends me a quick glance. "Yeah, sure, no problem."   
Daniel and Rowan have gravitated back to their own beds, but are still watching with interest, and Chaotic and Rebel look ready to pounce on me with questions. 

Eric walks out after Amar, and the girls jump onto the end of my bed.   
"What exactly have we found, this lovely morning?" Chaotic inquires, with a grin.   
"N- nothing," I say quickly, the blush on my face deepening.   
Before the girls can inquire further, Eric strolls back up, determinedly.   
He leans down, tilts my face up, and kisses me deeply.   
He smirks when he pulls away, and leans down for a quick smooch, before leaving, yet again.

Rebels jaw hangs open, and Chaotic looks like she might fall off the bed from the excitement causing her to bounce around.   
"Oh my God!" They exclaim at the same time. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

The cafeteria is pretty quiet, as usual, when I and my friends seat ourselves to a table. Daniel leans over to whisper in Rebels ear, and she giggles softly, blushing.  
Something is going on there.   
Chaotic was disappointed that Eric and I didn't go farther than a sleepy make out session, but she was still excited. 

We were discussing going to get new tattoos and piercings, when Eric slid in to the seat beside me, the entire table falling silent.   
"You can continue talking, I don't bite, ya’ know?" he says, with a smirk, as he gazes down at me; the height difference making me feel tiny when I'm near him.  
The silence was broken, by Chaotic, as usual.  
"That's not what she said."

Eric blushed then, but smiled, still, and I knew he wasn't mad at me for telling them.  
He knows how Chaotic is.  
Damn Candor.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Amar's POV:

 

"Amar, please, sit down," Jeanine tells me, gesturing to the blue chair in front of her desk. I take the offered seat, and lay the tan folder on her desk, sliding it to her.  
"Thank you," she says, smiling. "But, that's not really why I called you here."  
I'm confused.  
"It's not?" I ask, as she shakes her head. I feel an uneasy bubbling in the pit of my stomach.  
Does she know?  
Does she know I'm Divergent?  
Am I going to die?

"The real reason I've called you here, is because of your loyalty to your faction, and to the keeping of our laws. Your services have been much appreciated. I want you to know that. I have a favor to ask of you."  
Jeanine stands up from behind her desk and walks over next to my chair.   
"Can you help me with that?"  
No matter what it is, I can't refuse.   
She can't find out about me. 

"Yes ma'am," I say, swallowing the uneasiness down.   
"Good, I knew I could trust you. You'll be briefed on the details tomorrow. My people will contact you."

 

Stormy's POV:

 

It has been a long day, but it was fun. Eric joined us when we went to get tattoos, and he had the ones on his forearms extended, and added another two bars opposite the ones on his neck, so now he has two sets.   
I got the Dauntless symbol on my ankle, and another one on my wrist in flowing script, that says 'I believe in ordinary acts of bravery'.

Eric sat with us again at lunch, and we all hung out in the Pit, dancing and goofing around, and sparring until dinner.  
Eric ate dinner with us, as well, excusing himself as soon as he was finished, explaining that he had some cleaning up to do.  
The rest of us headed back to the Pit, enjoying our official membership of the warrior faction. 

 

Eric's POV:

 

I had just finished cleaning, and was currently placing the last of the new curtains I bought on the rod above the new window I installed, when I heard a knock at the door.  
I thought it might be Stormy.  
When I opened the door, Amar was standing in front of me, appearing nervous.  
"Can I drink with you, man? Nobody else in this damn place can hold their liquor like you can. I need a fucking drink."  
"Sure," I say, a bit surprised, moving to let him enter.

I close the door and lock it once he's inside, and head to the mini bar to pour two glasses of Scotch.  
I sit down on the couch, and hand a drink to Amar, who is sweating and looking nervous.   
"So, what's going on?" I say, sipping from my glass.   
Amar chugs his down, and I bring the bottle over, gesturing for him to help himself. He pours another, and downs it just as quickly, before pouring a third glass and sipping at it.   
I'm still on my first.

"I don't know, maybe it's nothing, but..." he takes another sip of the liquor. "Eric, man, can I trust you with something? You can't tell anybody, not even your girl."  
I blush.  
"She's not my gi-," I start, but Amar cuts in.  
"Point?"  
"Taken," I finish, slowly. This must be serious. "My lips are sealed."  
"Jeanine didn't want the file she requested, she said she wants me to do her a favor, and that her people will contact me."  
He downs the rest of that glass quickly now, and pours yet another.  
"And?" I don't see what's so worrisome about that, Erudite and Dauntless have always worked together, as allies.

"And, maybe she wants a favor, but then again, maybe she wants to execute me."  
"Exec-, why?" I say, startled, and very confused.  
"Not a word," Amar says firmly, a serious look on his face.  
I nod, and he continues.  
"I'm Divergent."  
Divergent?  
We were always taught that the Divergent threatened our system, and posed a danger to every civilian in the city, but I've never held that belief, myself. They're people, too, right? Just like us, except they fit an aptitude for more than one faction.

"How did you get past the test?" I ask, curious.   
He must sense that I'm not going to go running my mouth, because he answers.  
"My tester was Abnegation, she entered my result manually. I tested positive for Dauntless, Erudite and Amity," he admitted. "I just, feel uneasy about this shit. She didn't even tell me what the favor was, yet." He continued sipping at his drink.   
"That's why you needed a drink," I state, understanding a bit more clearly.   
"That's why I needed a drink."

 

******************************************************************************

 

After Amar left, I headed down to the Pit, where Stormy said she would be. And there she was; looking gorgeous, and smiling.  
That smile makes me smile, and hers gets bigger when she sees me.  
That makes me grin.  
I'm rather happy.  
Shit.  
Who would have thought?  
I lean in close, and peck her on the lips, before asking if she'd like to come back to my apartment with me. 

"I know you can do better than that, handsome," Chaotic says loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the Pit.   
Stormy shakes her head, and sighs at her crazy friend, before offering me a smile.  
I smirk at her, and she looks at me quizzically.  
I grab her in my arms, leaning her down a bit, and kiss her deeply, making sure her friend sees the tongue that I'm using.

Stormy's eyes are closed, enjoying this, clearly, and mine are open, staring at Chaotic as if to say 'challenge accepted'.   
Cheers and catcalls from our onlookers are heard throughout the Pit.   
I pull away and bring Stormy back to her feet, her face flushed.   
"So, did you want to come with?" I say, quieter this time, so her friend can't take advantage of any meaning that could be behind the invitation.  
She nods, then, and I smile at her gently as we climb the stairs to the hallway that leads to my apartment. 

"That was quite pleasant," she said, on the way up.   
I smiled, and blushed a bit, because I know the only reason I was so bold was because of the two glasses of Scotch I shared with Amar, just a bit ago.   
"You enjoyed it, did you?" I say quietly, as we reach the door to my humble abode.   
She blushes a bit, before answering, "I wouldn't mind doing that again."  
I look at her for a moment, with what could only be lust in my eyes, before attacking her mouth with my own, pushing my tongue into her willing mouth. 

I back her against the cold wall, picking her up so I don't have lean down, and so she doesn't have to stand on her tip toes, and she wraps her legs around my waist.   
I moan into her mouth, then, as I feel a warm sensation in my groin at the action.   
"Hu-umm," someone clears their throat behind me. 

I drop Stormy back onto her feet, and turn around to find Max standing there, trying not to smile, and failing.   
"I thought you were gonna be single forever, you know that? I've never seen you like this. He'll be good to you," he says, directing the last comment at Stormy.   
I feel the blush on my cheeks, and see the one on Stormy's.  
Max chuckles then, and continues on his way, calling out as he retreated, "You can continue!"

I laugh nervously, and Stormy smiles at me, looking slightly nervous as well.   
"You want to go inside?" I ask, hopefully. She could change her mind, and I wouldn't be surprised after that interruption.   
"Yeah," she says softly, smiling gently. 

We enter the apartment, and I can see it in her face, she keeps eyeing the bed, then the floor, then the bed again. Trying to go unnoticed but failing, miserably.   
Once I've locked the door behind me, I turn around and walk up to Stormy again, going much more slowly, but every bit as passionately, as in the corridor. 

I lean down, kissing her gently, deepening the kiss more when she moans into my mouth, making me moan as well.   
She looks at me with lust in her own eyes, and something else.   
I take her hand, and nod towards the bed, and she gulps, but follows me.   
I've never done any of this before, but I've read books.  
Lots of books.  
Just in case.

We sit on the end of my bed, gazing into each other’s eyes for a moment, and I smile as I lean down to kiss her again, much, much deeper.   
Somehow, I've ended up half on top of her, while she lies on her back.  
She pouts when I sit back up, but smirks when I go to pull my shirt off.  
I don't give her long to look, before I'm back on top of her, pushing my tongue into her mouth, as she moans beneath me, and I feel my pants get tight. 

I slide my hands down to her small waist, and slowly push the fabric up, exposing the smooth skin of her pale stomach.  
She leans up to pull her own shirt over her head.   
My eyes darken, and I attach my lips to her ear, gently, sucking and licking and she is moaning pretty loudly, now. 

She sits up quickly placing her hand over her mouth, looking embarrassed. "I am so sorry. I'm not trying to do that, I-, I can't seem to help it. We don't have to keep doing this if you don't want to, I know I'm being loud," she says, looking down and blushing.  
I chuckle.  
"I like the sounds you're making," I say truthfully. "It makes me feel, uh, kinda warm... and tingly." I blush, because she probably knows where I feel the warmth.   
"Then keep doing what you're doing," she says smirking, gaining confidence with my compliment.   
So I do.

 

Stormy's POV:

 

I honestly thought I might get scared, but so far I am thoroughly enjoying myself.   
He licks up my ear, and I am moaning loudly again; I really can't help it.   
He trails his warm, wet tongue down to my throat, sucking gently, pulling more moans from me still, as I lean into him.   
He leaves a trail of kisses, making his way to my collar bone, kissing and sucking the sensitive flesh there, gently.

I feel a warm sensation between my legs, and I wonder if this is what he feels like.  
I hope so.  
I sit us up, and he stares at me, as I smirk and unclasp my bra, his eyes traveling down to my breasts. I feel the sexual tension between us, and we need to break it. This feels too natural, and too good to stop now. I pull my jeans off, throwing them to floor, and I am left in my panties. I trail my fingers down his chiseled chest, and trace the skin just above his low riding jeans, before smirking at him, and popping the button. 

Eric's breath hitches in his throat, and he looks into my eyes nervously.   
I smile at him gently; I know this is going to be okay.  
I pull the zipper of his jeans down slowly, and tug them down about half an inch, just to hint.   
He looks nervous, so I smirk, and slowly pull my black panties down, sliding them off, and tossing them to the floor as well, before leaning back against his pillow, and waiting with slightly open legs.  
His face.  
Shock, or lust, or both. 

He snaps out of his hesitation, and the jeans are gone. I didn't see where they went; I just know they're gone, because I'm getting a very nice view of his chiseled, and well-endowed, naked form.   
Will that fit inside of me? 

He hovers over me, between my legs, waiting for permission to continue, so I nod my head, and smile.  
He places his lips on mine, kissing me gently, as he reaches his hand between us, and rubbing my womanhood with his finger, sliding up and down, and rubbing circles, while I moan into his mouth.  
Eric pulls his hand away then, lining his erect member with my entrance, before pushing into me slowly.  
Very slowly.  
He slides in up to the hilt, and it doesn't hurt, but it feels rather uncomfortable, too. I didn't know I had that much room in there.   
He doesn't move yet, he just gives me a minute to get used to his presence inside of me.  
I nod, and he begins to pull back, almost all the way out, before pushing back in very, very slowly, again.

He groans, and I moan at the sound, placing my arms around his back, and scratching lightly with my finger nails.   
He takes that as his cue, and begins to move a bit faster and, fuck, this is amazing.   
He is beautiful. 

A thin sheen of sweat covers his body as he moves inside of me, rolling his hips against mine, sending wave, after wave of pleasure through my entire being.   
I'm moaning loudly, and when he throws my leg over his shoulder and attaches his lips to my right nipple, his hand caressing the left, my moans turn into screams of pleasure.   
He's moaning, now too, more so than before. 

He fucks me faster, and deeper, and I feel something about to happen.   
His movements become erratic, and his eyes flutter closed, and then I scream, "E- ric!" as I feel a wetness from myself, mingle with his.   
He rests his head on my shoulder a moment, before kissing my cheek and pulling himself out to lie beside me, pulling the blankets on top of us.   
He plays with my hair for a bit, before asking if I'm thirsty.  
I nod, and watch as he jumps out of bed, bending down to pull his jeans on, giving me the pleasure of staring at his beautiful backside, until it is covered by black denim.   
I'm asleep before he comes back from the kitchen.


	16. Chapter Fourteen

Eric's POV:

 

I wake up early the next morning, and cuddle closer to Stormy.   
She's still asleep.  
I kiss her forehead, before getting up, and wandering into the kitchen.  
As I cook breakfast for the two of us, my thoughts drift to last night.  
Wow.

That was my first time, and it felt awkward, at first, but Stormy seemed comfortable, and that helped boost my confidence, as well.  
It was amazing.  
It didn't feel like some sport, or game, like many people describe it; it was more than just recreation.

It felt deeply emotional.  
It felt like love.  
I smile at the memories.  
I've gone some kind of soft.  
I'm okay with that.

As I plate our morning meal, Stormy shuffles in, and settles down in a chair at the counter, rubbing her eyes, and looking sleepy.   
"Morning," I say, suddenly nervous, wondering how she felt about what we did.  
She looks up at me, and smiles softly, "Morning."  
"Did you sleep well?" I press, as I push a plate in front of her, seating myself beside her, as I dig into my eggs.  
She yawns, and stretches her arms out.  
"I slept like the dead," she said, giggling a bit. "What about you?"  
"Like the dead," I agree, laughing.

We finish our breakfast, and I leave the dishes for later, as we settle on the couch.   
Stormy bites her lip, and looks up at me from under her eye lashes, nervously. "Was it, um, good? Last night, I mean?"  
I thought I was the only one worried about that.   
I smirk. "Was I?"  
She blushes, and bites her lip again.   
"Yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Just… it was my first time. I didn't really know what I was doing," Stormy explained, nervously. 

"Mine too," I admit, truthfully, smiling at her slightly shocked face.   
"You've never done that before?" she asked, curiously, almost like she didn't believe me.  
"Yeah," I reply. "I just-, you know, after what happened... I was scared."  
The last part hurt to admit, but it was the truth. "But, I wasn't scared with you."  
She smiles, and leans up to kiss me softly, on the lips.   
"The feeling is mutual," she tells me, scooting onto my lap sideways, and laying her head on my shoulder.  
I smile at that. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asks quietly, hesitantly. Her big eyes searching mine for something.  
"Definitely," I tell her.   
"I think I might be falling in love with you," she whispers.  
I grin, widely.  
"I think I might be falling in love with you, too."

 

******************************************************************************

 

Later that day, Stormy was finally given access to her new apartment, and it was just two doors down from mine.   
I liked the fact that she would be so close. 

She went out to go shopping for the necessities and decor items with Chaotic and Rowan; my guess is, the girls dragged the poor guy along, as a pack mule. 

I would have gone, but, I was summoned to Erudite headquarters by Jeanine Matthews.   
I make my way through the familiar corridors, taking the stairs at the end, instead of the elevator, up to the top floor.   
When I reach her office, I rap on the door with my knuckles, and Jeanine opens it for me, beckoning me inside, and then gesturing for me to take a seat. 

She sits behind her desk, and folds her hands in front of her.   
"Eric, I have brought you here today to ask you a favor."  
Shit.  
My thoughts turn, immediately, to Amar, and the conversation that we had only the day before.   
"The Divergent problem is getting worse; lone wolf attacks are becoming more common, with no obvious motive on the part of the Divergent traitors."

"So," I begin hesitantly. "What do you want with me?"  
I swallow, nervously, as she smiles.  
"I want you to help me hunt them down; eradicate the problem, so that they can't continue to hurt innocent people."  
She stands up then, pacing in front of her desk, her eyes on mine.  
"We are planning some big things, and I need people I can trust on the inside of each faction. But you, I feel you are meant for greater things. I want you by my side when we make our move."  
"Me?" I ask, my voice squeaking a bit.

"Yes," she replies, nodding her head. "I suspect several people of being Divergent, and highly dangerous. One of them, is Amar Abdulla. You know him?"  
I gulp, before answering, "Somewhat; we aren't close, just acquaintances."   
Where is she going with this?  
"We are concerned that he might be planning something; an attack at Dauntless. We are sure he is Divergent, because, so far, all people whose test results were entered manually turn out to be Divergent in the investigations."

"An attack? Amar? I think you might be mistaken," I tell her, hoping to divert her gaze from my new friend. I don't know him well, but he's not a monster, like she seems to think.   
"I hope so," she says, thinly. "And you don't have to give me your answer today, but I will be speaking with you again, and I hope you'll join me." 

On my way out, I pass Amar.  
Shit.

 

Stormy's POV:

 

I had just finished setting up my apartment, when Eric strolled in.  
"Hey," he said, with a smile, as he wrapped me in a hug.   
"Hey," I reply, matching his grin.   
"I got something for you," he said, pulling back, looking sheepish.   
"What is it?" my Erudite curiosity is still intact.   
"I'm not telling, it's a surprise," he says with a smirk, and a wink. "Come by my apartment at seven, tonight?" he asks.  
"Yeah," I'm not going to say no, am I?

"Wear something nice; it's gonna be special," he says as he turns to leave. He turns back at the door, and adds, "No makeup. I like your face."  
And then he's gone, and I'm left grinning like an idiot. 

 

******************************************************************************

 

I'm running late; I hope Eric won't mind.  
It took me a while to pick an outfit I liked that fit his requirement of "nice".   
I look at the clock, and see that it's 7:24.  
Shit.  
I'm really running late.   
I head over to take one last look in the mirror, on my way to the door, and I hear a knock.  
That must be Eric.

"Come in," I call out. "I'm almost ready, I sw-."   
I turn around, and there is Amar, standing in my living room, the door closed, and locked behind him.   
"Amar?"

 

Eric's POV:

 

I sit on the couch, fiddling with the rectangle box in my hand.   
I look at the clock; it's 7:31.  
I thought girls were only supposed to be a little late, not this late.  
I wonder if something came up.  
Or maybe she changed her mind.  
I sit there for a few minutes longer, before deciding to go knock on her door. I exit my apartment and see Amar, walking away, down the hall, quickly.  
I smell smoke.   
It's coming from Stormy's apartment. 

I rush to her door, trying the knob, but it's locked.   
I begin to kick at it, trying to break through, but it's no use.  
"Stormy!" I scream, banging my fists on the door.  
I feel the scalding heat from the other side, and flames lick through the cracks under the door.   
Four comes sprinting up then, key card in hand. I back up, and he slides it quickly, the door popping open as smoke, and heat, billow out into the corridor. 

There are murmurs, and crying coming from both ends of the hallway, as the Dauntless gather at the scene, but I pay them no mind.  
I walk forward quickly, attempting to enter her apartment.  
I have to find her.  
Four grabs my arm, and pulls me back.  
"You can't go in there, Eric, it's too late," he says softly.   
"Get the fuck off me, Stiff!" I scream, and tear away from his hold, as I rush through the door.

"Stormy!" I cough, and sputter, ducking my head to try to escape the smoke. "Stormy! Where are you?"  
Flames lick their way up the walls, and across the floor, the place is about to explode.   
I have to find her.   
I see a still shape on the floor on the other side of her bed. 

"Stormy! Come on, get up!" I scream, as I rush towards her through the smoke.   
I try to reach her, but I'm too late, as flames engulf that section of the room, and the roof collapses on top of her.   
"No!" I scream. "No! Stormy!"  
I vaguely feel myself being dragged backwards, towards the door.   
All I see is red. 

I'm back in the hallway, staring at the door in front of me.   
"Is she-," Chaotic is beside me now, with tears in her eyes, and I turn to look at her.   
I swallow, as tears fill my own eyes; I don't answer her.  
She takes my silence for what it is, and begins sobbing.   
I swallow the lump in my throat, as rage fills my vision. 

I scream, and punch the wall, not even flinching as the skin on my knuckles cracks open.   
I look around at the people in the corridor, all of them staring at me.   
I'm looking for one person, and one person, only.   
Amar.   
The Divergent.

I turn, and run the way he left.   
I find him, hunched in a corner, rocking back and forth.  
"You!" I scream, approaching him, and grabbing his collar. "You killed her! You sick fuck!"  
"I-," he begins, but I don't let him speak. I punch his nose, watching the blood run down his chin.   
He's stunned, and disoriented, so I drag him back down the hall by his collar, paying no attention to his protest. 

There are still many people, including Chaotic and Four, standing around the partially open door when I walk up, dragging the Divergent behind me.   
I pay them no mind.   
I don't care anymore.

I kick Four in the gut, when he tries to stop me, and he falls to the ground, clutching his stomach.  
I swing open the door, throwing the Divergent into the apartment, and closing the door behind him, as he crawls to feet, trying to escape.   
I stand in the hallway, with my back to the door, preventing his exit, as he bangs, and kicks, and pushes uselessly against it; trying to open it.  
His screams grow louder, and I know he is burning.  
Good.  
He deserves this. 

A heavy silence has fallen over everyone watching the horrific scene, as the Divergent's screams fill the air, along with the smoke, as I hold the door, blocking his escape.   
I wear a hardened expression, as I hear his screams die down.   
After a few more minutes, they have quieted completely, and I open the door to have his charred body fall out into the corridor. 

There are a few screams from the onlookers, but it doesn't faze me.  
The Divergent killed Stormy.  
My Stormy.  
My love. 

I turn around and face the only friend I have left, now that my rage has subsided. Four places a hand on my shoulder, and I fall apart.   
I should be embarrassed; all of Dauntless seeing their ruthless, and feared, leader in a state like this.   
I just don't care anymore.  
My life is over.   
She just burned up in that apartment. 

I drop to my knees, sobbing, and screaming, pulling at my hair.  
"No!" I scream, through the tears. "No!"


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you all so much reading; I hope you've enjoyed this prequel! So, yes, this is the last chapter for this story, but I'm posting the first chapter of the sequel (When the Sky Begins to Fall), right after this! Enjoy!

**Eric's POV:**

She's gone.

She's really gone.

Stormy.

Fuck.

 

Four stands on one side, and Chaotic, Rebel, Rowan and Daniel stand in a close group on my other side. We are at her funeral. Dauntless don't wait. Memorials are always the day after a death. This doesn't feel real, but at the same time, it feels all too real. Max gives the same speech he always does. He begins the address for the Divergent, and I turn to leave, several pairs of eyes watching my retreating form. I can't stand there, and listen to that.

He killed her.

And I killed him.

What's left? There is nothing left for me; I will never get over this.

There is only one escape.

When the thought enters my mind, I don't hesitate. I pull my blade out of my boot, and turn the metal over in my hands, watching the light glint off of the steel. I drop to my knees just outside the doors, and look up.

"Stormy?" I begin, my voice breaking, and I start to cry again. "Kaitlynn? I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you. I lied when I said I thought I might be falling in love with you. I am in love with you. Fuck... I love you." Sobs rack my body, as my shoulders shake. I smile through my tears, looking back up. "If you're up there somewhere, please, forgive me? I just can't go on without you. I'm sorry."

I laugh, hysterically, as I stab the blade into my forearm, dragging it down my arm long ways, slowly, watching as the blood spurts out. I drag it down the other one, as well, still laughing. The door opens in front of me, as people try to exit the cafeteria after the memorials ended. There are gasps all around.

Max stepped forward, and I'm still laughing through my tears.

"Eric?" he approaches me, slowly. I shake my head, and continue laughing as I drag the blade across my chest, marking across the scar there, making an X.

"It means nothing, anymore," I say, looking back up. I look down as I see the blood seeping through my shirt, and pouring from my arms, and I smile as I close my eyes.

Here I come, Stormy...

******************************************************************************

**Four's POV:**

It was definitely Amar.

I checked the back footage, and he entered Stormy's apartment, staying only about five minutes, before leaving as the fire grew, and Eric rushed to save her. I showed all my findings to Max, and the other leaders, with the exception of Eric, who was in a coma in the infirmary.

I've gone to visit him, every day, for the past week, just talking to him. I feel some weird connection to him, but I don't know what it is. I don't want him to have to deal with this, but I don't want him to kill himself, either.

Jeanine Matthews stopped by today, she wants to be notified as soon as Eric wakes up. I find myself wondering what that is about.

There's only one weird thing I can't figure out. Three of the monitors from that night are on a loop. Somebody covered up something they didn't want found out. But, Amar was easily seen on the other cameras, why would he have looped some, and not the ones in the corridor? It's a mystery that I may never crack.

 

**Eric's POV:**

_I wake up in a white room, in a white bed, in white clothes._

_Stormy is here with me._

_I smile at her, as she lies beside me, and I kiss her nose._

_'You can do it,' she says, softly._

_'Do what?' I ask._

_'Kill them all!'_

 

I wake with a start, sitting up straight, and struggling for breath. There are monitors attached to my body, and there are bandages on my arms and around my bare chest. I'm in the infirmary at Dauntless.

I'm alive.

I don't want to be.

I lay back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling as I replay what happened, grief overtaking my mind. And I cry, and cry and cry.

There's a knock on the door, and I don't answer, I just continue to stare at the ceiling, as tears flow silently down my face. Four enters my room, and stands by the edge of my bed.

"Eric?" he says softly, but I don't answer him. "Eric, I'm so sorry for everything. Shit, I'm sorry. And I hate to bring this up so soon... but, Jeanine Matthews is demanding to see you, she's right outside the door, waiting." I look at him then, blinking some of the tears back, and sitting up, wincing as my self-inflicted wounds pull at the strain. "I'm so sorry," he whispers again, as he backs out of the room, Jeanine entering.

"Eric," she starts, with sympathy in her voice. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"You were right," I say, brokenly. "Amar was Divergent. And he was dangerous."

Jeanine smiles at me, sadly. "Yes, well, it's not always a victory to be right about some things."

A nurse from Erudite walks in, and injects a red-tinted syringe into my I.V., the liquid burning my veins. I must look a little concerned.

"Oh, don't worry, the other nurses were busy, and I took the liberty of having Annie get you a little something to numb the pain." I look her in the eyes, then, wondering why she wanted so desperately to see me, now.

Oh.

This stuff makes me feel weird.

...Oooooh.

"Eric, I hope you'll make the choice to join my cause, now. You've seen firsthand the kind of destruction," she places her hand, softly, over my right, "and death, that come with allowing these Divergent criminals to live free. I didn't know Kaitlynn that well, but she was a nice girl, and I'm sorry that this had to happen to her; that this had to happen to you. I am sure that she would want you to avenge her death; she wouldn't have wanted to die in vain? Would she?"

No.

No, she wouldn't have.

I shake my head, in agreement.

"Then join me, Eric. You get your revenge, and with revenge, comes peace. In whatever form that peace may be. We segregate, and annihilate, the Divergent in our city. What do you say?"

Revenge.

Revenge.

Revenge.

Revenge.

Revenge.

"What do you need me to do?" I say darkly, my own voice sounding foreign to my ears.

Jeanine smiles at me then, standing up. "I will be in touch, until then, get yourself fixed up, throw yourself into your work, keep an eye out for any possible Divergents, and make a list. We are working on a serum that will allow us to distinguish the Divergent traitor, from the peaceful citizen. It might take a while, maybe a year or more. You'll be the first to know. Use your anger, Eric. Otherwise, your grief will destroy you."

Revenge.

Revenge.

Revenge.

"Oh, and Eric," she turns back, in the doorway. "I'll be sending Annie every couple of days or so, she'll bring this serum for you." "What is it?" I ask, curiously. "It'll keep you feeling more like yourself."

Revenge.

Revenge.

Revenge.

 

 

**Stormy's POV:**

What is this place?

Where am I?

I sit up from a single white bed, and notice that everything is white.

The floor. The walls. The table beside the bed. Even a white remote control lies on the table.

I pick it up, and press the power button. I turn around as I hear a clicking noise, and I see a screen coming forward from inside of the wall behind me. I press the button for volume control, and turn it up.

 

 

_There's Eric leaving his apartment. He hesitates momentarily before rushing to my door, banging on it and kicking it; trying to break it down._

_"Stormy!" he screams, banging his fists on the door._

_Four enters the screen, sliding a key card on my door, and the door opens, smoke billowing out._

_There are many people standing in the hallway, crying and murmuring._

_Eric rushes forward, but Four grabs his arms tightly._

_"You can't go in there, Eric, it's too late," he says softly._

_Eric is visibly angry._

_"Get the fuck off me, Stiff!" he screams, and tears away from the other man’s grasp, and rushes in through the door._

_Four looks torn; like he's uncertain of what he's supposed to do._

_My friends are there, standing with everyone else, and they look so worried and scared._

_"Stormy! Stormy! Where are you?" I hear Eric screaming, and the smoke increases, flames licking out of the apartment, now. There is silence for another moment, and then, "Stormy! Come on, get up!"_

_A brief moment of silence, followed by a loud rumble, and the camera filming the scene shakes a bit._

_Everyone in the hall is silent, now._

_"No!" Eric screams. "No!"_

_Four rushes into the burning unit, then._

_"Stormy!" Eric screams again._

_Seconds later, I see Four dragging Eric out of the apartment, covered head to toe in soot and sweat. Eric stares at the door in shock, and Chaotic walks up to him._

_"Is she-," Chaotic asks him, with tears in her eyes, and Eric turns to look at her._

_He swallows visibly, and tears fill his eyes, threatening to spill over, and he never answers her._

_Chaotic begins sobbing._

_Eric screams, and turns to punch the rock wall, not even flinching, though I can see the blood dripping off of his knuckles, now._

_He turns, and runs away, only to come back moments later dragging Amar with him. Eric walks towards the door to the still burning apartment with the dark-skinned man, and Four rushes forward to stop Eric. Eric kicked him in the gut and the man fell to his knees._

_Eric swung the door open then, throwing Amar into the apartment, closing the door once the other man was inside. Eric stood against the door, bracing it so clearly the other man could not escape._

_Pretty soon, there are screams, terrible, horrifying screams coming from inside that apartment. Once the screams have stopped completely, Eric opens the door and the charred body of Amar falls out into the corridor. A few screams can be heard from the onlookers crowding the corridor._

_The camera zooms in closer to Eric, as he turns around to face Four, his eyes filled with despair. When the other man places a hand on his shoulder, Eric falls to his knees, sobbing and screaming, and pulling at his hair, as he rocks back and forth on the ground screaming, "No!"_

 

I find myself crying.

Eric thinks I’m dead.

Maybe, I am dead.

The scene before me changes.

 

_The Dauntless are in the cafeteria, as Max, the leader stands above them on a table. Eric, Four, and my friends from initiation, stand together off to the side._

_"Today, is a sad day. We've lost two of our best, and bravest."_

_It's a funeral._

_My funeral._

_Eric is crying silently the whole time, and when Max begins to speak about Amar, he quickly retreats._

_The camera angle switches, and I see Eric on his knees, staring up into the camera; at me._

_"Stormy?" he begins, his voice breaking, and he starts to cry again._

 

"Yes?" I say, crying silently. I know he can't hear me back.

 

_**"** Kaitlynn? I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you. I lied when I said I thought I might be falling in love with you. I am in love with you. Fuck... I love you." _

_Sobs rack his body, and he holds his arm as his shoulders shake, looking down. He smiles through the tears when he looks back up._

_"If you're up there somewhere, please, forgive me? I just can't go on without you. I'm sorry."_

_Eric laughs, hysterically, as he stabs a blade into his forearm, dragging it down his arms slowly, blood spurting out. He drags it down the other one as well, still laughing. The door opens in front of him, and I hear several people gasping._

_Max enters the screen, and Eric looks up at him, still laughing._

_"Eric?" Max says, slowly moving closer to my love._

_Eric shakes his head, and continues to laugh as he drags the blade across his chest, marking across the scar there, making an X._

_"It means nothing, anymore," Eric says, looking back up to the camera. He looks down to see the blood seeping through his shirt and pouring out of his arms, and he smiles, and he closes his eyes and falls to the floor in a pool of blood, immediately surrounded by people trying to stop the bleeding._

 

"No!" I scream. "No!"

I throw the remote at the locked door to my side, and attempt to bang on it until someone finally opens the door and steps inside.

"Hello, Stormy," Jeanine Matthews crosses her arms, and smiles at me. "I really am sorry about all of this, you weren't supposed to get hurt, but you got in the way of my plans a long time ago, when Eric followed you out of Erudite."

"I'm staying with you?" I ask, confused. The lady laughs then, a dark laugh.

"Heavens, no! You stay here, alone. Except when a client has need of you, then you'll be going down the hall."

"Client?" I ask, growing more confused.

"You have to earn your keep, we don't give handouts," she says with a frown as she turns to leave.

"Wait, what do you mean? I don't understand!" The door slams shut, and I hear the sound of her retreating footsteps getting more, and more, quiet.

What the fuck is going on here?

Is Eric alive?

Will I ever escape?

I have the sinking feeling, that life as we know it, is about to end.

 

**TBC in SEQUEL**


End file.
